I am cursed

There is a fear I have that I don’t believe I’ve ever mentioned before but it is a fear many biological men must have. I sometimes fear the possibility that someone could falsely accuse me of raping them or claim that I’m the father of their child.

I was recently reminded of this fear because of the stupid paternity court show that is always on the break room TV at work right before I start my 11 AMshift.
It seems like a silly fear because obviously there would be no evidence to back up such claims but still I wouldn’t want to have to go to court or have anybody believe such a thing for even a second.
And that is actually an additional reason to want my male private parts removed. It’s far from the only reason but it is an extra motivation that I do think about often.
It pains me to live in a world where men have a weapon attached to their body that they use to hurt people. I cannot relate to the feelings other people have about penises or testicles. I see them only as evil and something I wish had never existed.
I think part of the reason I see myself as a woman is because I do not have any desire to see anything that reminds me of male body parts or masculinity. If given the chance I’ll get an orchiectomy and maybe even full SRS which would remove the penis entirely. I have no use for weapons as I have sworn nonviolence and celibacy.
And that is why I’ve named myself Chastity to remind me that I am innocent and that I have not done anything wrong. And I feel happy knowing this until I feel the pain in my testicles or get an erection and I am reminded that I am cursed.

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