Sometimes the things the young men at work say really remind me that I’m not one of them. Like the guy who told me I need to try Tinder and it will change my life.
Unlike most people I’m pretty open about my thoughts on many topics. My thoughts on the whole concept of dating, gender, and sexuality are common knowledge for anyone who has followed my Facebook page or watched my YouTube rants.
But I sometimes forget that when I meet new people they really don’t know me yet. In fact I’m quite the oddball at work. I don’t drive a car, I’m the only vegan, I don’t follow sports, nor have I seen the movies that everyone talks about. I know details about My Little Pony and also lots about programming languages and graphics formats. It’s hard to connect with people when I’m not like them. I wouldn’t want to be.
But sometimes I really would like to give a big speech to these young guys who only talk about wanting to date hot girls, drink beer and watch football.
Look guys, you’ve bought into this idea that numbing your mind with alcohol and deriving as much physical pleasure as you can is going to make you happy. I really don’t think it works that way.
Alcohol diminishes your mental function and you are at risk of doing things you regret without being fully conscious.
Those hot girls you are always seeking are first of all people. They have their own opinions, dreams, and goals. It’s highly unlikely that you will find someone who looks a certain way and that spending your life with them will bring you happiness. And someday when your relationships end after your hormones die off and you realize that you have little foundation for your connections with people, who often don’t look so hot after 30 years, you’ll wish you had stayed a single virgin, so you can watch the football you love so much without a wife and kids getting in the way.
No, I don’t need to date people on Tinder. I’m fine as I am and even if I tried, it doesn’t really work out because you see dating isn’t really for people who have no sexual interest and also struggle with major gender dysphoria.
People’s dating preferences are strange. People have their mind set on people being a certain height, weight, and having a certain type of genitalia that they want to f*** as they often talk about.
Dating is done the same way that people shop for cars or furniture. They have certain features they want it to have, and when it no longer performs as the want it to, they throw it away or sell it. Often people treat their spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends this way after they are done with them.
And the thought did occur to me recently that one of the major motivating factors that drives me to be 100% sure that I will get my testicles removed if I can save up enough money somehow(besides the horrible physical pain I suffer from) is that it makes me undesirable from a sexual perspective. If I’m physically capable of having sex with them they think they can talk me into it. And yes, two very mentally unstable women tried that. But most of the time it’s the men telling me to get laid.
And I know I embarrass myself and others when I talk about this but it must be clearly understood that I feel like I am sexually objectified when people talk this way to me.
And I know that I would also be seen as a sex object even more so had I been born with a female body. It’s a very strange feeling but I still struggle with these issues mentally a lot. Not a day goes by that I’m not triggered by something someone says.
And most of the time I know they mean no harm and I wish that I never had these thoughts and that it didn’t bother me, but it does.
Chastity White Rose 