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This video is made possible by Streamyard, the easiest browser based live stream software I have ever used. This was streamed to my YouTube channel live but I downloaded the recording so that I could also upload it to many places and have great backups.

In this live stream, I read my entire first book, commented on each chapter, and even replied to the comments I was getting in real time from user Hungry Billy Bruce. It would be my most interesting video I have ever done so far. Confessions of a Confused Virgin was the first book I ever wrote and was chosen for this video because it’s the shortes of all of my books as well.

You can find this book and others in ebook form on my Smashwords profile.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/chastitywhiterose

Additionally you can buy a paperback of this same book on Amazon.

If you like this book I highly encourage you to support me as an author by buying my latest and greatest book title: “Chandler’s Honesty”. It is known as my unicorn book and more work went into it than any previously published book of mine.

C: I do hope that the world will be better and that somehow I am make a difference, but I do not see evidence of change as I would like.

H: Evidence won’t get you very far in life, Chastity. What evidence of improving the world are you looking for. Do you even know?

C: No, I guess I don’t know what type of evidence I could find or that I would accept. I must see things as they are and only then can I accept the evidence of my eyes.

H: But what about the evidence of your heart?

C: What do you mean?

H: You know in your heart that things in the world are not as they should be, but yet, you have never once SEEN the world as you want it to be and as you know it should be. So do you believe your eyes or your heart?

C: I never have thought of it this way. I guess there are times where what I hope to see is not based on what I had seen previously, for the world was wrong before I was born yet I knew it was wrong even though I never saw anything else.

H: If you ask me, you have great faith.

C: Faith? Is that what you call believing without evidence?

H: That is what some humans say, but I have a different way of saying it. I say that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

C: Evidence of things not seen?

H: Yes, there are many things that you believe that you have never seen with your eyes of your body. This is why I say you have great faith, because nothing you see will change what you believe about the things that matter most.

C: You said faith is the substance of things hoped for. What is hope and how is it related to faith?

H: You said before that you hope we will all head in the same direction if we don’t give up on our dreams and follow our hearts. When you hope for something, you want it, you desire it, you wish for it greatly. Faith is when you believe somehow that your wishes will come true.

C: There are many things I hope for, the things which I desire.

H: What is your greatest of your hopes? If there were a genie that could grant you one wish, what would it be?

My latest book with Honesty the Unicorn is available on both Amazon and Smashwords.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1064601

Amazon has both the paperback and kindle editions and Smashwords also has more ebook formats including epub which can be opened in iBooks on any iPhone.

I very much hope that my friends who are brave enough to read it can write some reviews. Not everybody can understand this book but those who do will find a story of recovery from religious indoctrination and some symbolic meanings about the connections between Celibacy, Veganism, Unicorns, and even some of the teachings of Jesus in the Bible.

Back in December 9 I had a knee injury at work. I was unable to work for some time and had 6 physical therapy appointments and an MRI on my knee. However when I was released and the doctor faxed my work place and said I could work with no restrictions, I gave it my best effort but it was not the same as it was before. I still have some pain when I am just walking and lifting 40 pounds is something I can do but it does hurt my knees. It’s not just the right knee that was injured either, though it hurts a lot worse. I feel like my legs and arms are going to break. I did work two full days but as I did it hurt more and more and then I was walking slower than I was when I started. Every step hurt and when I had to push a streamliner with 400 pounds of files up the ramp it took me forever. I got it up there but it would take me almost a minute instead of 5 seconds like I used to be able to do. It hurt so bad and to make matters worse the fact that I am forced to wear a mask made me feel like my lungs were going to collapse because I can’t breathe enough oxygen.

I emailed my human resource manager about my problems and that I did not believe I should have been released back to work so soon. Apparently she must have said something to the worker’s compensation insurance company. I know because I got the following email:

“Your employer states that you are reporting that you are not able to work your regular duties.

I want to point out to you that your knee diagnostic test were completely normal. You should have been cleared by the doctor for work at regular duties the moment that MRI came back negative, but the doctor gave you the benefit of the doubt in so far as your subjective complaints of pain and kept you off a bit longer. The ODG disability and treatment guide indicates with a normal diagnostic study and the absence of objective findings that you should be more than capable of doing your regular job. You are welcome to contact the workers comp doctor who released you to voice your complaints and obtain feedback.

As for weekly benefits, you are cleared for full duty work and so you are not entitled to any additional TTD benefits. Therefore, if you choose NOT to work your regular job, I am not going to owe further TTD benefits to you.

Respectfully”

Respectfully? Seriously? She’s trying to say that there is nothing wrong and that my complaints of pain are “subjective”. But of course it’s subjective because it’s my body and my knee that hurts. I haven’t been this pissed off since the urologists who didn’t believe me about my testicles hurting. Of course the real issue is that the insurance company doesn’t want to pay any more money so they wanted me to be released back to work whether I was ready or not. Sure I was able to walk again without crutches but that does NOT mean I am back to 100%.

I arranged with Human Resources to take a personal leave of absence. I am scheduled to return to work on February 15. I am under a lot of stress right now because I have a time limit and must be able to return to the same abilities I had when I started this job. But the odds of that happening are not good. The mask mandate will probably never end and with my muscles being atrophied from not being able to even walk it’s going to take a miracle to get back to being able to run around a cave with 400 pounds of files and shelve 160 per hour.

Additionally there is the mysterious issue of my low bone density. I’m not sure why it is so low but sometimes I worry there is some kind of disease like bone cancer that would explain the bone loss.

The command to fix my audio was:

sudo apt purge timidity-daemon

Apparently while trying to install things for composing music with MIDI I got all the other sound on my computer to stop working. Took forever to find the right person with the solution.