Author: Chastity White Rose

I know it’s not polite to call people stupid but it’s sure what I think most humans are most of the time. When I see the kinds of excuses people make to justify animal killing or the things people say prove the existence of their particular God, I find that people lack basic sense.

But you know, some people I can really learn to like even if they are stupid. While being intelligent is important for making the right ethical decisions, it’s far from the most important thing. The most important part is having good intentions and being kind enough to care about others. Because even if you know the facts but lack the love that motivates you to do the right things, all the knowledge in the world won’t do any good.

However either the love or intelligence is any good when isolated. People may have good intentions but accidentally harm others without the knowledge they need to help them. For example, when somebody is grieving over the death of a loved one, people may tell them that they will see them again in heaven. Sure it works for religous people but brings no comfort to someone who is an atheist or is already doomed to hell according to the religion because they are gay or because that religion teaches that only humans live after death. I have thought about this most recently because I know someone who is upset about the death of her dog. There is very little comfort anyone can offer in a situation like that.

Sadly, I find that humans always have greater potential to hurt others than they do to help them. Humans can kill but they cannot bring someone back to life. They can say words that hurt someone but they can never change things so that it’s the same as if they never said them.

To me, the idea of death being the end of existence is the only comfort I can find in the sea of misery that life so often is. Others may not understand this and may think I am depressed. But in any case, I know that there is nothing that they can say that makes the good in this world outweigh the bad. There is happiness but there is always more pain than any of us would wish.

And seriously, my life is actually pretty good right now but someday I will die and I am able to look at this reality in the face and yet still try to go on. I can do this because I’m a strong person and also smart enough to know that because my time is limited, I must make the most of it.

I don’t have much content on this blog yet but do it as I have thoughts. However I did start another blog here:

https://chastitydresses.wordpress.com/

It’s probably going to be where I post more often because I think a lot about fashion and dresses. Enjoy if you care about my strange opinions.

The way I feel about humans is complicated. With rare exceptions, I don’t like them. There are a few here and there that are tolerable but I pretty much find most to be completely a waste of space. Most are selfish, greedy, and just plain shallow. They care greatly about which sports team wins a football or baseball game but they care nothing for the animals who they eat while making jokes about how they love bacon and talking about how great they are because they are a Christian or because they went to college or make a lot of money.

And then there are others that are somewhat like me. Some I have a great liking of them because they are vegans and at least have some moral integrity. I find that veganism is an absolute minimum we can do because the alternative is to be murdering directly or indirectly.

But even the 1% of good people can’t outweigh the actions of the 99% of bad people. If I could wipe out the human race by pushing a button, I would do so without hesitation. I know this would wipe me out too but whatever, I’ll die eventually anyway.

In spite of this, I will do no violence to anybody. I won’t kill them because I literally cannot do it and because I still follow the golden rule. But if that magic button that could wipe out all existence was real I’d press it because I would no longer live to regret it and nobody would suffer.

Preventing suffering is what is most important to me. My promotion of veganism, celibacy, and rants against religion are all part of it. No wonder I don’t have many friends! People just don’t like being around a person who will depress them with the truth. Sure I’m miserable but at least I’m honest, unlike most people.

I can still say I love humans though because my redefinition of love is the golden rule. It is a love without feeling. My love is neither sexual nor any other feeling. All my feelings about humans are generally negative and there are exceptions but I dare not mention any specific people to keep them anonymous. I do wish there were more of them and that I had a group to be part of. I’m quite a confused mess. I’d like friends who I connect with but I also want everyone to stop existing!

I am probably the most unlikely person to be interested in LGBTQIA+ type of issues given my fundamentalist protestant Christian background. I was raised as a Christian and taught the Bible. Of course I heard all the time that the Bible was all literal historical truth. Sure there were some who thought parts of it were allegory but God never showed up to settle any disagreements on interpretation of the Bible.

Because I was struggling with gender issues in my 20s and because I overcame speciesism and went vegan for the animals, it only makes sense that I’ve come to a place in my life where I don’t care about whether God exists or not. Either way the Bible and Churches are the biggest threat I know of to animals and to gay and transgender humans because they cause people to believe that God gave humans permission to eat animals and that homosexuals must be executed. While there are only a few verses that seem to be talking about homosexuality that doesn’t keep the Christians from picking on gay people for their “sins” while completely ignoring everything Jesus said about the golden rule and loving your neighbor as yourself.

So in short, I’ve become to disgusted with Christianity and all the harm that comes from these beliefs which come from the Bible that I have an interest in helping the LGBTQIA+ community because I believe it WILL be the downfall of Christianity because Christians have already lost so much of their influence and the only legal issues they seem to get involved in anymore have to do with gay marriage, transgender care, or abortion.

But there is one more thing. Gay, transgender, and asexual people are extremely unlikely to reproduce and therefore are automatically better in my opinion than straight people because I want the human race to go extinct.

I have been near sighted all my life and yet I went most of my life without glasses because I could still see well enough to function. However by the time I was 21 my eyesight was so bad that I could no longer read the time on a clock only 6 feet away. I also couldn’t read the signs above the aisles in grocery stores. When I finally got glasses I was amazed at the detail of things that I had never truly seen before unless I was extremely close. I was super excited to see the beauty of the world.

However, sight comes at a price. For the first time I could see the humans around me and compare how they looked to each other and to me. Because of this I started falling into a trap of comparing myself to others. This was the beginning of my gender disphoria. You see I am biologically male but have never been very manly by any definition. Compared to men I’m shorter than most of them and although my muscles are very strong, I can see that I don’t have the same shape in my muscles as men often do. I also compared myself to women and became jealous of them. I saw their childlike skin and their clothes which are almost always better looking than the boring clothes I would find in the men’s section of Walmart. I began to wish I was a woman and want to wear a dress like they could. To complicate matters further, I was worried about these feelings because since I was raised as a Christian, I was worried that I might be gay. I didn’t know much about gender issues of sexual orientations. However one thing was clear. I was not straight. I do not talk the way that other men do about women. In fact I’m completely disgusted by male behavior. They seek to date women who are considered sexually attractive by society either for popularity with their male peers or they just want to have sex with them.

I was quite different from the other men. Although I can see which women look more beautiful than others according to my own standards of beauty, I also try to downplay the role of their appearance and I also aim to treat them all the same no matter how good or bad they look. Sight is the most valuable thing to me and I appreciate it more than most, however it’s important that I never use my eyes as an excuse to mistreat someone based on their appearance no matter what color, gender, or species they happen to be. My philosophy of equality and the golden rule is the foundation of my ethical veganism but it is also the source of my dark secret. I see my own body in the mirror or while I take a shower and I strongly dislike it. I often wish that I had been a girl from the start of my life because then I could wear dresses in public and nobody would criticize me for it. I also would probably not have the large amount of body hair that I do because testosterone produced by my testicles clearly gives me the facial, chest, belly, and butt hair that I do. I almost look like a gorilla or chimp because I’m so hairy and yet I’m not quite hairy enough to actually look like them. Someday I’m hoping to seek permanent hair removal most importantly on my face because I hate the way it looks and I’m tired of cutting myself from shaving.

For over ten years I have had these feelings and although I hide it well from the general public, issues related to gender and sexuality greatly upset me because they are a reminder that I will almost certainly never be able to like my own body the way that some others do. I know everybody has body image issues at times but mine are pretty extreme. There are others like me however and usually they end up being male to female transexuals. I’m still dealing with these feelings that began over ten years ago and I’m trying to think of what is the best solution. It would be nice if I could just fix my own psychology that causes me to feel this way but something tells me that life is never that easy.