I have decided that starting today, August 2 2021, I will start writing again daily. Even if I don’t have much to say or it isn’t inI have decided that starting today, August 2 2021, I will start writing again daily. Even if I don’t have much to say or it isn’t interesting. I want to get back into the habit.
The truth is that I have not been writing lately because I have not been able to have a talk with Honesty the unicorn as was the case previously. My Chandler’s Honesty series was great but it wasn’t really my own work. The conversations take place at certain times.
One night I attempted to start writing a part 6 of the story and it did not go as expected. It was a bunch of random nonsense until I started writing about what was really going on with my roommate who recently moved in. This became a problem because up until now I was able to talk about my life without concern of the privacy of someone who lives with me. I can be honest about myself but when it becomes about another person who wishes to keep a very private life it is a different story.
I imagine this experience is much like the experience of other people who are concerned about the privacy and safety of their families. I have never been a very private person and I tell too much information about myself that people really don’t want to know.
But what I can tell you is that I am happy. My roommate is my long time friend who is referred to as the Black Rose in previous parts of my story. They have talked about writing a book about their life. If they do, I look forward to helping them publish it! I have the experience in getting books self published even if I can’t get anyone to read them. They reason I am using they/them pronouns is because my roommate is nonbinary. Although it seems that he/him would also be the best pronouns that fit into the gender binary. So male or gender neutral pronouns may be used interchangeably because he is fine with being a he/him or they/them.
He also has a fundraiser people can donate to if interested in helping him pay for top surgery.
As for myself, I am a transgender woman and people call me quite a mix of male and female pronouns. I look mostly like a man still but almost everyone at work knows that I prefer to be referred to by my new name and pronouns. It also helps that I have my new nametag.
I am not angry at people who still call me Chandler or he/him. I know that most people are still not very understanding of transgender people and quite honestly the elderly can be very confused. People were previously taught that people were either male or female and that this is determined at birth by what private parts they have. I was taught this too but I no longer believe it.
This is because I am transgender and I know now that people are not to be defined by their body. I don’t think that my body is who I am. I believe in the soul.
This has helped me be happy with myself and to not focus so much on what my body looks like. My body has actually changed visibly recently due to the hormonal influence of estrogen and the lack of testosterone, but not as much as the way I see my life. I am still the same person I always was but I have learned new things that changed my perspective.
Honesty the unicorn once told me: “ For there are things that must remain a mystery so that those who love the darkness will not destroy the bearers of light.”
I now understand what Honesty meant. I wish I could tell you, but it’s complicated.