The following is my first attempt at explaining my new identity as a transwoman. I sent it to some friends and got mixed reactions but I think it explains a lot about me and I feel better after writing it. If I post it here then I hopefully won’t lose it and can refer back to it.
“I have been going through a lot in my life that people don’t really know. I’ve had a phase that’s lasted over ten years and I’ve given up trying to hide my feelings and just tell what’s important to know to my close friends.
I want to keep this short and sweet so here it is. I’ve figured out that the best possible explanation for my bizarre feeling in relation to my gender dysphoria and confusion about my sexual orientation is that I really am a transwoman. I do not experience the same thoughts that other men do and I have always identified more closely with females.
I know that there will be some confusion about this especially for those who are less educated on LGBT issues or haven’t experienced it themselves. But quite frankly the shortest way to say it is that while I’m aware that I’m biologically male in appearance. My inner life of my thoughts, or perhaps you might call it my life force, soul, or spirit is that which identifies with the things which are more feminine and which are the content of the dreams of little girls full of unicorns, ponies, rainbows, and friendship.
I truly have no interest in the same things that other men do and I’m not interested in sexual relationships with women. I don’t think I’m gay and I still currently identify as asexual, meaning only that I care as little for sexual things as I do for animal products as a vegan.
And I already know what some people are thinking. That my bad experiences in my life have just confused me and I need to snap out of it. If only it were so simple.
I’m just not going to be a cisgender heterosexual male that most people, including the strange women who are attracted to me, would like me to be.
The most important thing about me is not that I want to identify as a woman or what sexual orientation I happen to feel like at the time. The important thing is that I’m a smart compassionate person who cares so much for the animals that I’ve vowed Chastity for the animals and made an oath not to humans but to the animals that I will dedicate my life to non violence and part of this is remaining a Virgin for life to make sure I never force another being into existence who will suffer and could also become another carnist who will hurt the animals that I love.
I know it may sound crazy but it makes sense to me and I believe this will help to explain what I feel is my new name: Chastity White Rose.
For my desire is to be morally pure and love without asking for a reward as is the nature of sexual love. And that’s why the white rose symbolizes my purity.
I may be crazy or mentally unstable but I feel pretty good about this and I hope this can be understood but if not, at least I tried.”