When I first moved to my apartment in Independence on September 30th 2019. I had a full time warehouse job. I was able to afford my rent and bills back then and even save a little bit each month. But when the knee injury happened and then I was about to be fired because my body could no longer do the job and make quota, I resigned to go back to Hy-Vee. Only I went to work at the Independence #2 Hy-Vee because it was close to where I lived. I have done fairly well there but because I have been stuck with under 30 hours as a part timer, I ended up with less and less money each month.
I had been hoping to get full time work with Hy-Vee and be able to afford things. I also had hoped that my former roommate River would have worked and helped me pay rent. But no, I worked to the best of my ability but had less money each month. I was able to still pay the rent but only because of settlement money and withdrawing my 401k from my previous job. Now the money is out, the rent has gone up, my lease expires in October, and I am running out of time for a miracle to happen. Even if Hy-Vee does in fact give me more hours at this point, it may be too late. The rent is going to go up even more and I may still not be able to renew it because I have to have 3 times the monthly rent amount in gross income to be allowed to renew the lease. I’m currently below and I doubt I will be able to keep this apartment. Rent is just too expensive. Renting an apartment anywhere in Independence Missouri is usually $800 to $1000 a month. I have searched online quite a bit and the irrefutable fact is that it’s too expensive to live when all I want is a safe place to live where I can eat, sleep, take a shower, and try to relax when I am on my own time.
At this point I am very angry because being a hardworking honest person does NOT reward a person in this economy. I have no savings, no retirement fund, a complete joke of insurance, and soon I won’t even have my own home.
The good news is, I probably will not end up out on the street. I will probably either have to go back to stay with my mom for awhile or find somebody in this area with a spare room or basement I can rent so that I can still walk to work. I do absolutely love my job in Hy-Vee Floral but I fear I may have to lose it if I am not living in a location where I can consistently walk to work.
But that’s not the worst of it. The worst thing about my situation is the judgement from other people who judge the people who are poor or homeless. People have judged me for years for not having a car. What they don’t realize is that even my own mother doesn’t have a car. We have been poor the entire time I was growing up.
People assume that if someone doesn’t have enough money for their rent, bills, food, etc. that it’s their fault or that they must be doing something wrong. Additionally there is great criticism of people who still live with their parents. I lived with my mom until I was 33 years old and it was purely financial reasons that I had to. I temporarily had a better situation when Brillient hired me for the full time job but now that I lost it, I am back where I started.
But not entirely where I started. I am 3 years older, a bit more experienced and wiser, and at least I was able to have my orchiectomy and be out of physical pain because of the insurance I used to have in 2020 before I lost my job.
But the purpose of this post is not for anyone to feel sorry for me. I know I will survive and find happiness somehow. A valuable skill that I still very much need to learn is how to find joy even when times are bad and to be content even though I do not have control over my financial life or living situation. I’ve done about as well as anyone could in my situation. I’ll survive one way or another, just not the way I would have preferred.
There is also the fact that it would be good to spend more time with my mom while she is still alive. This could be twisted into a good thing if I follow the principle of the “Paradoxical Pony Power of Positive Perspective” that Honesty the unicorn taught me. There is always good even in bad situations just as there is bad in good situations.
“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!” – Rocky Balboa
Chastity White Rose 