I tried something recently. I joined that Plenty of Fish website. It’s mostly a dating site but I thought maybe I would have an interesting experience and meet people in my local area who might be good friends.
However right from the very start I ran into an issue. I was forced into a choice of selecting whether I was male or female. For a non-trans person, this is trivial. You just go with your biological sex. But to a trans person it feels dishonest to choose either. If I say I’m a man it feels like a lie but if I say I’m a woman it also feels like a lie because obviously I have a male body and didn’t want to confuse people.
And this is why trans people can’t date. It’s paralyzing and you never know if you’ve made the right choice. But I did the only sensible thing. I chose female and then wrote a big wall of text for my description explaining EXACTLY that I was male to female transgender and interested in friends or possibly a relationship that didn’t involve sex like what some asexuals are lucky enough to find. I also mentioned I wanted to meet more vegans that were hopefully in my area.
But you know people don’t read profiles. They just look at their picture and then message stupid things that prove they didn’t read. Perhaps it’s for the best that my account was banned. I didn’t break any rules that I was aware of but somebody probably reported me or something. For the short time I had an account I was getting messages from guys asking me for oral and anal sex.
And the moral of this story is that I only confirmed what I already believed. People are just dumb and they don’t read or care about WHO a person is but only what body parts they have and what sexual things they can do with them.
Is it really any wonder why I’ve become such a paranoid misanthrope? Is it really any wonder that I despise the male body I was born with because it reminds me of the evil men of the world?
It may seem strange that I even would join a site like that but it was something new to try and I think it did give me a small view into what other people go through when they try online dating and what goes on in their head. But in the end it’s kind of funny when I think about what a miserable failure it was.