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Here is an official update on how I’m feeling. I am mostly back to the way I was before surgery except that if I squat it pulls on the skin where the incision is and breaks the glue. If I walk far my underwear rubs on it and can cause it to bleed. So for these reasons I stay home and don’t usually wear anything down there so nothing can rub and hurt it. But aside from that I feel good and have lots of food I can eat and lots of fruit juice and soy milk to drink. I’ll just be staying home most of the time and computer programming or playing Super Mario Galaxy. Still I’m super bummed out about missing work because it’s still a loss of income and I have to transfer money from my other bank accounts so I can pay rent/bills. But it’s worth it because I’ve never felt better. Now I’m pain free and have my adult life in my apartment and a good job to go back to when I am ready.

I had my orchiectomy after a long fight of trying finding a doctor willing to do it. After Andrew Wright refused to help me, the psychologist who had written my referral letter then referred me to Hospital Hill KC Urology clinic. It was there on 7-16-2020 that I met Dr. Hadley Wyre. He listened to my story and was willing to help me. We scheduled surgery for 9-17-20 and I was feeling pretty good. However it was during this time that the Covid-19 lockdowns and mask mandates were happening. My work performance suffered because I could not breath enough oxygen while required to wear a mask. I was afraid of getting fired because of this and was in a real panic mode for those two months before surgery that I would not be able to get the surgery done if I lost my job and health insurance, or if I tested positive for Covid and had to delay it.

It was good news that I had a doctor willing to help me but I often am very scared of things going wrong. However, if those things I feared had happened, you would not be reading this. I had my surgery and I am slowly recovering. I am very happy with the way I feel and although I have my financial concerns because of the work I am missing while on leave, I try to remember that I overcame the biggest obstacle I have experienced in my life. There is very little left to be afraid of.

And speaking of fear, I know that many fear death, but I do not. There are worse things than death. Living in constant pain as I was caused me to want to die. However I am glad I did not die then and that I still had time left to tell you my story. Many people are too afraid to talk about testicles and do not want to hear my testimony, but I will not stay silent when people like me are in pain and cannot receive the help they need. People should be able to get the surgeries they need for their body whether their reasons for doing the surgery are because of physical pain or emotional pain.

When a man has testicular cancer and has an orchiectomy, people feel sorry for him. When he is in pain either because they hurt or because he hurts emotionally because of sexual abuse memories or gender dysphoria, people expect him to snap out of it and just pretend to be OK and “man up”. There is a deep sexism against men that most of them are too afraid to talk about, but I am not.

As I continue with my life, I plan to keep a watch for others who experience similar problems to what I did. Hopefully I can help someone else someday with my story.

read part 1 here

https://chastitywhiterose.wordpress.com/2020/05/24/the-testicle-testimony/

It is day 4 since I had my orchiectomy and I am at my mom’s place recovering well. However it turns out that I wasn’t sown together with stiches. I was basically glued together. Although I feel normal, I have to remember that I can’t squat down nor try to lift huge things because I risk breaking the glue open and bleeding if I overdo it and stretch the skin too far it would be deadly. I can’t sit down in a chair either or Im sitting directly on it. So I lay on my belly or back and talk to my mom and watch funny stuff on the TV I bought her a few weeks ago.
I will lose some income because I can’t go back to work yet. But the great part is that this is a one time thing. The testicles are gone and as far as I know I have no life threatening things like heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or any of that. I don’t expect to be having any more surgery in my life if I can help it.
For the past two years I was in extreme pain from restricted blood flow,dead veins, and twisted spermatic coords.
In fact the pain was getting so bad that I was seriously having bad thoughts about castrating myself with my sharpest knife to end the pain, which would not have worked because I would have simply died of blood loss and shock. But that is how bad the pain was and the pain I had after surgery was still less than what I was experiencing before.
So I worked my butt off trying to work my job and save money and vacation hours. The hardest part was trying to pretend that I was ok at work when I was in major pain and could not really talk about it nor do anything about it.
Dr. Hadley Wyre really saved my life and gave me relief from my pain and now I have a feeling things will be alright. I just overcame the hardest struggle I ever went through. I went to so many urologists who did not take me seriously and expected me to live with the pain or just accused me of making up the pain and assuming that I only wanted my testicles removed because of gender dysphoria.
It would have been nice if I had received help years sooner than I did. I’m only where I am because of the company Brillient giving me a full time job with excellent health insurance and the fact that Hadley Wyre is a nice urologist who actually listened to my needs and did what I asked without policing my decisions of what I wanted done or questioning my identity. And also many thanks to Psychologist Ryan Cox who referred me to Hospital Hill KC Urology clinic.
I also want to thank all my coworkers for putting up with my crankiness without understanding what was wrong with me. Thanks to my best friends who were there for me in my most difficult moments.

On 9-17-2020 I had my orchiectomy after a long fight of trying finding a doctor willing to do it. I am currently recovering and taking the pain medicine they prescribed me. I can’t really walk well or lift heavy things until I’m healed and stitches are removed. When I have a follow up appointment Ill ask the doctor to help me fill out the paperwork for FMLA and Short Term Disability so that I only go back to work when I’m at my best.
But after recovering everything will be great because I will not be experiencing the pain I had to endure for over two years. I’ll do even better at my job when I return.
The testicles, spermatic coords, and the scrotum are all gone now and I will be able to focus on the good parts of my life.

I translated my spinning polygon routine by looking at the C version and copying everything over to BASIC syntax. It also draws a checkerboard behind the polygon because I left the code from my previous project there.

REM BASIC8 port of Chastity's Regular Polygon

'the width and height of the program
'this is set in stone by the BASIC8 creator so these never change
width=160,height=128

'declare my 2 color palette for the checkerboard
palette=list()
push(palette,rgba(0,0,0))
push(palette,rgba(255,255,255))

rem new section for declaring the polygon variables
cx=width/2 'center x of the polygon
cy=height/2 'center y of the polygon
radians=0 'the current rotation angle of the polygon
radius=height/2
polygon_points = 8
polygon_step = 3 'for how the points are stepped through,applies to star polygons
polygon_color=rgba(255,0,0)
'arrays of x and y points
dim xpoints(polygon_points)
dim ypoints(polygon_points)

'old section that does the checkerboard from my other project
rectsize=8
def update()
index=0
y=0
while y<height
index1=index
x=0
while x<width
rectfill x,y,x+rectsize,y+rectsize,palette(index))
index=BXOR(index,1)
x=x+rectsize
wend
index=BXOR(index1,1)
y=y+rectsize
wend
rem end of checkerboard section

'fill the point arrays with correct values using trigonometry
i=0
while i<polygon_points
f=i/polygon_points
angle=2*pi*f
angle=angle+radians
x=sin(angle);
y=cos(angle);
x=cx+x*radius;
y=cy-y*radius;
'print i;
'print "angle=",angle;
'print "x=",x," y=",y;
xpoints(i)=x;
ypoints(i)=y;
i=i+1;
wend
rem now all points are set up.

rem next draw triangles
i=0
while i<polygon_points
i1=(i+polygon_step) mod polygon_points;
trifill cx,cy,xpoints(i),ypoints(i),xpoints(i1),ypoints(i1),polygon_color
i=i+1;
wend

'change the rotation
radians=radians+0.03

enddef
update_with(driver())