Trans Women are Women?

I want to write about a common phrase going around. The first is “Trans women are women”. The second, which is similar is “Trans men are men”. If you’ve been around medium or transgender forums or groups you will hear statements like this. Both of them are equally valid and equally interesting. Both of these claims bring up questions of the soul in ways that I have been thinking about.

First, it brings up the obvious questions: “What is a man?” or “What is a Woman?”. If the answer we give to these questions is simply based on what body parts we have or the sound of our voice, then it renders these statements meaningless. People can change their body parts through surgery and even change their voice with surgery and voice training. This leads to the idea that a man can become a woman or that a woman can become a man.

If, however, we believe a man or a woman has certain character qualities or roles in society. Then someone proves their manhood or womanhood in the way they behave. When a boy or man cries he is sometimes told he is acting like a girl or woman. Is that statement true? If crying makes someone a girl then any of us can be a girl!

But what about the reverse? What action does someone do to prove their manhood? In my experience, men think that the more women they have sex with the more of a man they are. This standard they have set automatically makes a virgin like me not a man at all!

The crazy rules society sets for us remind me of the many conflicting rules around who or what is a Christian. I was raised as a Christian and so I often compare things to this.

Some people say a Christian is someone who goes to church. Some say a Christian believes certain things about the death and resurrection of Jesus. Some say a Christian is someone who does good deeds and feeds the homeless or something like that. Which of them is right?

Maybe all of them are right and all of them are wrong. They are right because there are people who calls themselves Christians who do these things. They are also wrong because they think that their definition of a Christian is the only one.

All someone has to do to be a Christian is call themselves a Christian. If the Christians can do this, then so can transgender people. We can call ourselves male, female, nonbinary, genderfluid, or whatever other term people use these days. No one can say that we are objectively wrong, because nobody knows us like we can know ourself.

But what exactly is the truth? How can I know for sure that what I am telling people is the truth? I once asked Honesty the unicorn about this and I learned there is more than one truth. There is the truth of my body but also the truth of my soul. I will copy and paste that conversation from my book here so that you can fully understand the depth of it.

Chandler’s Honesty Part 4: Chapter 6: Which Truth to Tell

C: What is it that you say you can show me?

H: That telling the truth is not always as simple as you think. Sometimes there is more than one truth to tell and you might be torn over which to tell.

C: And how can you show me this?

H: With an example. When someone asks you if you are a man or a woman, which truth do you tell them? The truth of your body or the truth of your soul?

C: Is this a trick question?

H: Of course.

C: I do not know how to answer this question. There are too many assumptions, too many complications in how things are defined. What is the answer?

H: You can answer in any way you wish, but either way you are telling only half the truth, which can sometimes be very dangerous. So instead of answering either that you are a man or that you are a woman, you can answer: “It’s complicated”.

C: Yes, it is complicated. You’re right about that, but it does not do anything to answer the question.

H: Those who want to know the full story will take the time to listen to you explain the intricate details of who and what you are and how you feel. Those who don’t really care enough will hear you answer that it’s complicated and they will give up. This way those who only want to know what parts you were born with will go on to bug someone else instead but the more enlightened and curious will listen and get to know the real you.

C: Very clever! A way to sort between two types of people and save time when I don’t know which truth to tell.

H: This same technique can be used in other situations as well. If someone asks you if you believe in God, you can also answer that it’s complicated, because such questions are loaded with assumptions based on the culture, dominant religion, and the life experiences of the person asking. People think they know what a man or woman is and they think they know what God is but they don’t.

C: This is all true and sometimes it’s the best answer, but can I handle the complicated details of these things myself? Only after I understand it can I begin to explain it to those who want to understand me. I want to dive down and understand these things. Words very much confuse me because I assumed they had a meaning but now I’m not so sure. I know it’s complicated and you’re right. Sometimes there really is more than one truth to tell, but I want to know all the versions of the truth, not just part of it.

Birthday 2021

May 15 is my birthday. I am 34 years old today and for the first time, I am actually quite satisfied with where I am in life. That was not the case 3 years ago, however. At that time I was in both physical and emotional pain. I also did not trust anyone enough to talk about my struggles because I believed nobody cared except my mother and yet I thought she could not relate to my type of problems.

But things have changed a lot in the past 3 years. I still see much evil in the world and it is easy to get depressed, but I have also been able to see the good in myself and others. I have a much better understanding of who I am and what I believe. I do not know where I will be going next in life but I’ll try to enjoy the journey.

One of the biggest things that caused the change was the day I started writing a story. I started out writing a story of a perfect paradise where no animals were hurt. But then something rather unusual happened, I started having a conversation with a unicorn in this world that was like a dream. Sometimes I was writing what I remembered from a dream while I was asleep.

Other times it was as though the dream was happening even while I was awake. I would probably have looked conscious to others but I was not fully present in the physical world and would often have no memory of what I had just been doing. I am not exactly sure what was going on but I came to realize I do not know what reality is anymore. Honesty the Unicorn talked to me about all my thoughts and feelings and I don’t know how much I was writing the story and how much the story was writing me. I published these conversations as books and have been trying to share them with the world.

And so I would like to start a new tradition this year on my birthday. What I want from my friends and family is not presents, parties, or birthday cards in the mail. I just want people to read this story and let me know what you really think of it. You will probably think I am just mentally insane, and yet, I know something has happened to me that is beyond labels. I hope that you also meet your truth if you haven’t already. I met mine, and its name is Honesty. The unicorn healed me with its silver horn of truth. The legends are true.

Part 4: Chapter 16: Unicorn Strength

C: Yes, Honesty, I will keep doing what I know I must do, although I do not see any reason to believe I will be successful. Most people don’t listen to me and I am unable to say the right words at the right time. I stutter when I am nervous and people judge me for my autistic disabilities or because I am not a Christian or because they are turned off by my vegan and transgender ways.

H: Yes but your message is not for those people. Some people are not willing to listen no matter what you say because they don’t want to know the truth. It’s not because of who you are or your perceived weirdness that makes them not listen. It’s that they don’t want to give up what they have.

C: But doesn’t progress require everyone to all come to an agreement? Can there really be peace or an end to suffering if everyone is in their own reality? If half the people see the truth while the other half either remains ignorant or doesn’t care about how their actions affect others, I will never see the world that I would like to see. A world where everyone’s life is respected equally and where we can all be happy. Everyone! Human, cow, sheep, pig, chicken, black, white, male, female, intersex, rich, poor. All of us are the same! All of us are one! How then is it that we are still separated and opposing each other?

H: I have some bad news for you, Chastity. The world may never be as perfect as you would like it to be. Nonetheless, you have seen that life has value even though it is full of suffering. The truth is that every good thing is defined by the very opposite of what you would like. You came to this understanding that all of us are one connected life but you came to this knowledge by great pain. Had your life been easier you might not be the person you are now. The suffering you experienced led you to seek the truth in ways that others cannot because they have too much to lose. Do you remember the story of Jesus talking to the rich young man who asked how to inherit eternal life?

C: The time where Jesus said “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God”?

H: Yes, that’s the one. What do you think Jesus meant by that statement?

C: That those who have things they want to keep have a hard time changing because they don’t want to lose what they have. Jesus told the rich man to sell what he had and give the money to the poor and then come and follow him. After that he just walked away sad.

H: Yes. That’s because a person may not want to hear something because it means that if they accept it, they have to give up everything they have. They could lose friends, family, their job, or even killed for speaking the truth or living according to the truth they have been given. For this reason, narrow is the way that leads to life and there are few who find it. The more you have to protect, the more afraid you are and less willing to change when you find new information.

C: Is this why all the most important people I know in my life have endured great suffering and are often alone without friends or family to support them in hard times?

H: Yes, because those are the people who went against the majority and expected actions, appearance, and beliefs of their culture. They have lost much but gained so much more, although they don’t always see it. It’s not easy to stare the ugly truth in the face and yet still go on living. This is often why so many of the very best people either die by suicide or end up using something else to distract them from the pain of their own lives or the pain they witness.

C: I see. I already didn’t have all that much to begin with and it was easy for me to try things that no one else would be willing to do. I didn’t value my life and so I was willing to take huge risks and do the craziest things. I joined the Navy, I left Christianity and found my own way, I became Vegan, I got a full time job even though at the time I didn’t have a clue how I was going to get to work each day when it was 9 miles away. I fought doctors until I found someone willing to remove my testicles, I published my books which contain almost my entire life history! I did it all because I had no fear!

H: Yes, and always remember to keep this memory of how you did what you did in the past. Many times yet in the future you will be tested even beyond anything you have experienced so far and there will come a time when you will be tempted to tell less than the truth because you will have things and people in your life that you are afraid of losing. But when this happens remember that you have the strength of a unicorn and when these times come you will do what you know is right even if everyone around you tries to tell you that you are wrong. Fear not, neither be dismayed, for I am your Unicorn. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my Silver Horn of Truth!

After the unicorn said these things, Chastity awoke from the dream and understood where she came from and where she was going. She had the strength to not let anyone tell her who she was or what she should be doing. She pondered over everything Honesty had said.

C: Yes, Honesty was right. Living in truth is the only way to truly be alive. I will do my best to remember the message of Honesty the Unicorn and not to do something because I am afraid but because I know I am doing what feels true to me. When the time comes, I’ll know what is right. And I have a feeling that I will see Honesty the next time I need the strength of a unicorn.

Part 4: Chapter 15: A Better Way

C: Yes, Honesty, I suppose it would be a unicorn that would be my god. But what does it matter that you are here? What does it matter if you are good and true? What does it matter that you love me? The suffering of others continues and the world goes on with humans continuing to hurt each other and trillions of other animals. What you tell me now will not change the world nor give me the power to do anything about it.

H: Yes the world is full of much evil and humans who do wrong. I won’t disagree with you there, but do you require the world to be perfect and good all the time?

C: Of course, who doesn’t want that?

H: Those who delight in doing wrong. They want their freedom to do wrong just as much as you want them to do right. So who has the final say in what happens? You or the other billions of humans?

C: People would do well if they followed my example. The world may never be perfect but I believe it could be a lot better. But even so nothing could make right the the suffering of countless beings who had painful lives and painful deaths. The idea of all those who have been here and suffered is more than anyone can count. I do not see how a happy ending to this story is possible.

H: And yet, even though you know that, you still see the small good in others. Even those humans who do wrong and even those who mistreated you, you still respect their lives enough that you do not wish harm on them.

C: Of course, because I do not desire anyone to suffer. Nobody, no matter how bad they are or what they have done should be hurt. I only wish for them to change their ways and see that there is a better way.

H: And do you believe that everyone has the potential to change for the better?

C: I do not know, but since I do not know what the future holds, I never know if even the most evil could see that they were in the wrong and then completely change and be entirely different.

H: Let’s do a little thought experiment. I know you are against abortion just as you are against the killing of everyone else. But let me ask you this, if you somehow had the power to go back into the past an abort someone that you knew for a fact would cause you or other great harm, would you choose to kill them to prevent them from hurting others?

C: No! Just because someone will do great evil does not mean that I have the right to end their life. They still have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!

H: And why do you think everyone, even the most evil of humans have these inalienable rights? Is it only because this is written in the United States Declaration of Independence?

C: No, it is because I, Chastity White Rose hold these truths to be self-evident just the same as the writers of the declaration of Independence.

H: And what evidence is that?

C: Because I want to live, I want freedom, and I want to make myself happy however that may be. Since I want these things for myself I must protect these rights for others or I am in violation of the golden rule which has always been my principle. So, no matter how evil people may be, I would not intentionally kill them because I do believe there is a better way to fix the world. I do not know if everyone can change or which people will and won’t stop their violence but if I have changed as much as I have in my life then I believe that some of them will change for the better.

H: And that is the power of life! As long as one is alive then have the liberty to change and improve. Even though the world is full of great evil, you have the power to see this, Chastity. This is what makes you strong enough to go on. I expect to see great things from you as you try to talk others into a better way and pursue your own happiness even though there are many things you are sad about.

C: Yes, however I may feel at times like giving up, I still believe that unless I try, I’ll never know. I am willing to talk to anybody willing to listen about the way that I live in the hopes that they do follow after my example and walk in the vows of Chastiy, Truth, and Ahimsa. I know many will mock me and reject me as they already have, but the White Rose is stronger than that. I will not be stopped by others because this is my life and I will do what I want to do. I want to make the world better than it was when I got here.

H: “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.” – Matthew 5:11

C: I remember that verse. That seems mysteriously relevant right now.

H: It is! You see I am Truth. Right now you know me as Honesty the Unicorn, but long before you met me people already persecuted you because you spoke the truths that you knew to be self-evident. People don’t usually like the truth because it makes them feel guilty knowing that they did wrong and so they try to silence you by making you feel that you are somehow wrong for sharing the truth with them. They do this thinking it will take away the pain in their hearts but it never does. So people persecute you for telling the truth as you see it and they make up lies about you and call you sexist, racist, or call you a sinner thinking that they are better than you because they call themselves a Christian and surround themselves only with people who agree with them and never speak what they really feel inside. So I say, blessed are you because you are stronger than all of them that revile you for speaking the truth. You are stronger than you know, Chastity, and you are making more of a difference than you can see. So keep doing what you are doing and pursue your happiness! May the Horse be with you!