Chastity White Rose

Category: transgender

  • Chapter 15: Love the Sinner Hate the Sin

    So many times in my life, I have heard the phrase “Love the sinner, hate the sin”. On the surface, it sounds good because you are saying that you love someone but disagree with what they do, but this calls into question both the intent behind the person speaking it and who they are saying it to.

    Interestingly, the only time I can remember hearing “Love the sinner, hate the sin” is when Christians are judging people for being gay or transgender. It doesn’t really work very well in this context because the person doesn’t know what the “sin” is that they are talking about. Imagine if you said, “Love the black person but hate the sin”. This statement implies that you think someone born with black skin has somehow sinned or erred in some way, as if they could have done something different and been born with a different skin color.

    I know what you’ll say next: “But being gay is a choice!”

    First, it isn’t a choice in any meaningful sense. Second, if it were a choice, it would actually be a fine choice. Third, you know what is a choice? Shutting up when you don’t know what you’re talking about.

    I will use 2 examples to illustrate the point I am making.

    Judging the Gay Person

    A person finds out that someone they know is gay. Then they start talking about hating their sin or their sinful lifestyle. But the truth is, a straight person does not know what sin they are speaking about. Are they speaking about the sin of being attracted to the same sex, which is not an action? Are they talking about a specific sexual action the person is doing? Are they in their house watching them as they do this action by themself or with their partner and judging them for doing it wrong? What specifically are they even talking about?

    Judging the Transgender Person

    Suppose someone discovers that someone is transgender, or simply assumes it because they don’t look like what they think a man or woman should look like. Some thoughts they might have include

    • That person is too tall to be a woman! They must really be a man pretending to be a woman! Someone call the police!
    • That woman has a deep voice, I bet she is really a man!
    • That woman has small boobs, I bet it’s a man!
    • That woman has facial hair, it’s a man! Protect the children!
    • That man has boobs; it must have been a woman, but it has a beard. What the hell is it?
    • That man sounds like a woman. I bet she tried to act like a man because she was such an ugly woman!

    These are just a few examples of the things I have heard or read. Most of the time, these things are said on Facebook or YouTube comments on a news story about someone who was just trying to use the restroom or play a sport.

    But what I have noticed is that while gay people are judged for actions (whether real or imaginary), transgender people are judged for how their body looks. Whether they are being judged by how tall or short they are, the sound of their voice, or the size of their breasts (why are people staring at other people’s chests so much?), the point of all these sayings is to insult people for how they look. What is the sin they are hating as they claim to love the sinner? Wait, is a woman sinning if she grows facial hair due to Polycystic Ovary Syndrome? What about these thoughts or words about the size of their breasts? Is having a certain size of boobs a sin? What is the correct breast size, and how does someone make their boobs bigger or smaller?

    More context is needed even to know what the sin is that they are referring to. Most of the time, this person is very vague on what the sin is. That is because they don’t really know any information about the person they are judging. This phrase is used mostly to strangers whom they don’t know.

    When someone speaks of “sin”, the context usually implies that they think the person has made an error or is doing something morally wrong. These two definitions get mixed up. I will call these definitions A and B.

    Sin Version A: Making a wrong move, such as moving a chess piece that causes the loss of the game, or forgetting a semicolon in a C program that you are compiling. Or perhaps “missing the mark” when you throw a ball or shoot an arrow at a target.

    Sin Version B: Doing something that hurts someone, such as murder, lying, stealing, or committing adultery (having sex with someone other than your spouse).

    Sin versions A and B are not the same thing, and they are not compatible. Sin A refers to a mistake made when playing a game or doing some action that has no harmful consequences. Sin B means you did something that hurt a person, either permanently by killing them, or at least temporarily, such as stealing their money that you can theoretically pay back.

    Interestingly, when people say “Love the sinner, hate the sin”, they are not usually talking about a type B of sin. They don’t usually say it about murderers, rapists, thieves, or liars. No, instead they call the police, bring a lawsuit against them, or cut off contact with them. Do they talk about loving these people? No, they are too busy trying to protect themselves from this person who has hurt them or their friends/family.

    But more importantly, can you still love someone while you are posting on Facebook about how much you hate someone’s sin? It is kind of a hard thing to balance. Love and hate don’t usually go in the same sentence. How about just loving the sinner and leaving it at that?

    But once again, you are calling someone a sinner, as if somehow they are more in the wrong than you are. It is still hypocritical to speak of your neighbor as someone you love in spite of their being a sinner. When a person says this, they are implying that they are perfect and somehow not being a sinner, and this gives them the right to call someone else a sinner.

    Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2 For by the standard you judge you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive. 3 Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye,’ while there is a beam in your own? 5 You hypocrite! First, remove the beam from your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

    It’s also worth mentioning that the statement “Love the sinner, hate the sin” only applies in the context of Christianity. Rarely do non-Christians ever use the word “sin”. However, the culture, most of which has been raised in one of the denominations of Christianity, understands that you are judging them, even if they are not sure what they are being judged for.

    The only advice I can give here is to stop using this phrase unless you are prepared to be very specific in what way you love someone, and also what sin it is that you hate. And PLEASE CHOOSE A DIFFERENT SIN ONCE IN A WHILE. The LGBTQIA+ people are tired of being picked on as if we are the only sinners. You would be wise to look at what sins you and many other self-identified “Christians” are doing while distracting themselves with the sins of others, so that they don’t have to change their own behavior. Remove all the sin from your own life, then we will talk.

  • Chapter 9: Autism and the Misunderstood Rainbow

    No discussion about the Rainbow would be complete without a mention of Autistic people. The Rainbow is a symbol of Autism because it is a spectrum of different colors, just as there are different people with different levels of ability in various skills.

    https://101autism.com/understanding-autism-the-significance-of-colors-and-symbols/

    The jigsaw puzzle piece is also a relevant symbol because of the unique ability of visually autistic thinkers to place pieces of the world together in unusual ways. Some of us are also really good at completing jigsaw puzzles (and playing Tetris, which is the same idea).

    But you might wonder what exactly Autism is. I can provide my explanation and point you to some resources. Autism is one of the hardest things to explain. In fact, it may be harder to describe Autism to a neurotypical (non-autistic person) than it is to explain LGBTQIA+ to cisgender straight people.

    But because I am even more autistic than I am Transgender, I do believe I can help explain it a bit. Obviously, this is only my experience because each autistic person is different.

    It might surprise you that I think in pictures and struggle with words. Words have never come easy to me. I could always talk since I was a small child, but I did not know what the words meant most of the time. I memorized quotes from cartoons and video games and repeated them endlessly.

    My strength has always been in math and visual arts. Give me shapes and colors, and I can tell you their number of sides and hexadecimal RGB color codes. Perhaps this is why computer programming languages were always easier than speaking English to humans, although I have obviously improved over the years.

    But have you ever tried to explain the difference between a man and a woman to an autistic person? The perception that people with Autism have of the world is very different than it is for most of my readers.

    An autistic person is more likely to think in terms of specific examples of something and then generalize over time. A non-autistic is more likely to have a general idea of something abstract enough to apply to specific cases.

    For example, when I was a 6-year-old child, I observed that boys were evil because they liked to bully me and physically beat me up at Lindbergh Elementary School. I further observed that girls played Tetherball on the playground and that they provided me safety from the boys because girls had cooties and boys were afraid of cooties (though to this day, I never figured out what that means exactly).

    My ideas of gender were very different from what other people spoke about it. To me, the role of a boy, girl, man, or woman was about behavior but not about body parts. To put it bluntly, I did not think of people by their penis or vagina because they wore pants. As long as people were wearing clothes, I only had their behavior to judge what kind of person they were.

    There is also evidence that people with Autism are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than the general population.

    https://autism.org/lgbtq-and-autism/

    I firmly believe that many other people with Autism are very much like me in that they have to process and figure the world out slowly. It isn’t that being autistic makes you gay or transgender, but you may observe that gender is also a spectrum, much like Autism or the Rainbow is.

    For example, in the minds of some people, women have long hair, but what about when a woman cuts her hair short? Furthermore, long and short are not absolute but are relative terms.

    What about the generality that men are stronger than women? Just because this is true, most of the time, does not mean that there are not women with naturally high testosterone who build muscle faster than other women and even a lot of men. Athletes who exercise get stronger regardless of the silly ideas in our heads over who is supposed to be stronger.

    For every rule that can be made to define what a man or a woman is, there is also an exception. Some people like me argue that the rules are flexible because humans made them up and that they can be broken.

    But let me finish by telling you a story about the misunderstood Rainbow.

    There was a display put up about Autism by two librarians in a library in Sterling, Kansas. The Infinity Rainbow was displayed. Somebody thought it was about an LGBTQIA+ topic and complained. These two librarians were fired and then sued the Sterling Free Public Library.

    https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/09/2-librarians-were-fired-after-the-board-mistook-an-autism-symbol-for-a-pride-display-theyre-suing/

    https://truthout.org/articles/kansas-librarians-sue-after-being-fired-for-displaying-rainbow-autism-symbol/

    I suppose that it can be easy to mistake an Autism rainbow as being a Pride Month symbol, especially since it was displayed in the month of June. However, I would say that people with Autism are included in the spectrum of diversity that must be understood and celebrated for their unique gifts.

    No, being autistic doesn’t really imply a certain sexual orientation or gender identity. Still, autistic people like me have no filter, and we will say exactly what we think and feel. I believe that the rate of LGBTQIA+ individuals among the autistic community could be the same as the rest of the population, but that WE ARE MORE LIKELY TO ADMIT OUR DIFFERENCE.

    If there is anything that Autism is known for, it is our lack of social awareness. Just as the Rainbow was misunderstood at the Sterling Free Public Library, autistic people are also misunderstood because we don’t know how to lie and pretend to be something we are not.

    I have not even barely scratched the surface of what Autism really means, but I can point you to an expert that you may have heard of. Her name is Temple Grandin. I invite you to read the first chapter of her book Thinking in Pictures because she explains it better than I can.

    https://www.grandin.com/inc/visual.thinking.html

    Because I think in pictures much like Temple Grandin does, I do think her books are a good description of my form of Autism.

    At the same time, I would also like to say that some people are so gifted with words and communication that they may be autistic but in the “reverse direction” of what is expected. Autism is diagnosed as a social disability, but there remains the possibility that the criteria for diagnosing Autism can also be wrong.

    I might have the same type of brain as Temple Grandin, but I think that others might actually be good at talking and understanding humans but be very bad at the visual and spatial talents that I have. I would like to conclude this chapter with my definition of Autism, which I think captures the essence of what I mean.

    Autism Definition

    A condition caused by a superpower (talent, skill, ability) that requires so much brain space that there is not much left for other abilities. Autistic individuals can do one or two things very well, but this comes at the cost of other abilities that society thinks are important.

    Or said another way, some of the playing cards in our brain deck are missing, but then others were shuffled in from another deck. We have 2 missing queens, 17 extra jacks, and no 5s or 7s.

  • Why I Changed My Mind On Homosexuality

    I know I share a lot of videos, but this one is very special. My mom came across this sermon by this pastor who changed his view on homosexuality. It’s definitely something I think everyone should listen to.

    I have a lot of thoughts on it, but I am more interested in hearing what other people think after listening to this sermon. After listening to Danny Cortez and getting some context, I would like you to read some very good books that I recommend on this subject.

    Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

    God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships

    You may wonder why this topic is so important to me and criticize me for even sharing this post. That’s okay, I am used to it. However, this topic is important to me for two main reasons: First, because it saves lives of gay people, especially those who grew up in church hearing a message that God hates them. Second, I personally feel that this is a missed element especially when Christians and Atheists debate the existence of God.

    One of the many criticisms of Christianity by the secular world comes because of the anti-gay preaching done by Christian groups, including many Pro-Life groups. I understand that the Bible appears to condemn Homosexuality. That is why I wrote this post including these videos and book links so that gay Christians can also resolve this issue with their own faith. This is a struggle that is unique to people raised Christian who then discover they are gay.

    It is for these reasons that I also joined the Rainbow Pro-Life Alliance. I specifically wanted to know that if I do choose to give my time or money to a Pro-Life organization, they won’t be trying to save the lives of babies with one hand only to be stoning them to death with the other hand once they are adults and are discovered to be gay.

    https://www.rainbowprolife.org

    In conclusion, I would like to share the lyrics of one of my favorite songs: “I Was Born This Way” by Carl Bean.

    I’m walking through life in nature’s disguise
    You laugh at me and you criticize’cause I’m happy, carefree and gay – Yes, I’m gay
    It ain’t a fault it’s a fact
    I was born this way Now I won’t judge you
    Don’t you judge me
    We’re all the way nature meant us to be Chorus
    I’m happy – I’m carefree – I’m gay
    I was born this way
    I’m happy – I’m carefree and I’m gay
    I was born this way
    I’m happy – I’m carefree – I’m gay
    I was born this way
    I’m happy – I’m carefree and I’m gay You’re Calling Me Strange’cause You Don’t Understand
    God’s Role For Me In Life’s Overall Plan
    I’ve Learned To Hold My Head Up High
    Not In Scorn Nor Disgrace
    Doin’ My Thing So Individually
    Entwined With This Human Race Now I Won’t Judge You
    Don’t You Judge Me
    We’re All The Way Nature Meant Us To Be Chorus
    I’m happy – I’m carefree – I’m gay
    I was born this way
    I’m happy – I’m carefree and I’m gay
    I was born this way
    I’m happy – I’m carefree – I’m gay
    I was born this way
    I’m happy – I’m carefree and I’m gay You Laugh at me
    And you got the nerve to criticize
    If I were you – I’d sit down
    And consider what you’re doing
    Love me like I love you
    I was born this way

  • The Quest for Full Time Work

    In less than a month I will turn 36. I find it quite depressing that at this age I am still considered a loser because I am poor. In my entire life I have only had one full-time job. That was with Brillient, the government contract company. Unfortunately, that fell apart with the knee injury. 

    But ever since the age of 16, I have always been trying to get a full-time job with an income great enough to be able to live independently. And for a while I thought I had succeeded. I had full time with Brillient and I had my own apartment in Independence. 

    My work history is simple because as of this time, there are only 3 companies I have worked for in my entire lifetime. 

    Hy-Vee was the first company to hire me at the age of 25. Walmart, Burger King, Burger Boy, Taco Bell, McDonalds, Hen House, and Hobby Lobby would not hire me or even give me an interview. Even Hy-Vee did not give me any chance until I went there and begged for a job. This was the Lee’s Summit East Hy-Vee 

    Oddly enough, I was not able to get a job in my first 9 years of trying, but I was able to join the Navy at the age of 20. I did not survive long in boot camp and became extremely sick with pneumonia. But one thing that I will always remember is how cruel the men in my church at the time were. They told me I was not tough enough to handle it and mocked me. They were right of course but that does not change the fact that they should have been proud of me for trying and encouraging me. My mom was proud of me and in fact that is the reason why her email is navyboymom@gmail.com because it was chosen at the time I was in the Navy. 

    But anyhow, back to the work history. I worked for Hy-Vee part time as a courtesy clerk from October 21, 2012, to sometime in May 2018 when I transferred to the Health Market. I was happy with my work and good at it but never was able to obtain full time. I asked and begged but nothing ever changed. 

    And then what happened is that a Job Recruiter found me on LinkedIn and told me about the availability of a full-time job for Brillient. It was not an easy job to get but it was full time and required tons of paperwork and obtaining government clearance because I would be working in a government facility. But I got the job and although I did not enjoy it very much, I was making $12.95 per hour at 40 hours per week, and sometimes 45 or 50 hours because of mandatory overtime. But the job fell apart for two reasons. The Covid related mask mandate and the knee injury which led to a long recovery and being fired for not being able to work fast enough at shelving files at a time when my legs could not even walk, and I could not get up off the floor without significant effort using my arms and one semi good leg. I would never work for that company again under any circumstances because of how they treated me. 

    So, what I did is apply to the Hy-Vee in Independence closest to where I lived in Independence at the time. Because I had previously worked for Hy-Vee, it was not difficult to get a job there because they still had me on file. I started in April 2021. It was a different store and things were located differently but all my skills still applied. In June 2021, after a few months of being a courtesy clerk, I transferred to the Floral Department because I was interested, and they needed help! I found it more difficult than being a courtesy clerk or health market clerk, but I loved the aspect of being creative when people bought flowers and wanted me to wrap them or put them in a vase. 

    I had many opportunities to be creative and learned to be responsible for many important things. I was quite often the closing shift clerk and would be by myself for an average of 4 hours. Answering the phone, writing the orders, cleaning up the shop, and locking away all important documents containing customer’s information. I also learned how to deposit the money in the till into the safe at the end of the night. 

    I was good at my job and loved it, but I was still limited to less than 30 hours and never allowed to go full time. I tried to get a second part time job at Gamestop, and to my surprise, I succeeded. But I did not get many hours there either. My rent was close to $900, not counting utilities, food was expensive, and I made about $1200 a month. As you can imagine, I ended up in debt and did not qualify to renew my lease. 

    So, I moved back to Lee’s Summit with my mom and transferred to the original Hy-Vee and the GameStop in Lee’s Summit. I have also been applying to other jobs with no success. 

    After a while, the constant rejection really started getting to me. My thought process is like this: 

    “Is it because I am transgender? Maybe but I got rejected long before I came out as transgender. Maybe it’s because I am autistic, and people assume I am retarded? Maybe my voice sounds gay and people in this area are homophobic? I am tired of being a loser and rejected by companies and people in general!” 

    I should not be having these thoughts, but constant rejection is damaging my mental health. I know I deserve a better life than this. I am highly intelligent and responsible. I have decided to be much more vocal about what I need in life and to fight even harder until I get full time employment. 

    I recently even started online school with Full Sail University. The idea is to get a college degree to help me find a well-paying job I have the skills for. But I still need a full-time job long before that day comes because I cannot survive on the less than 20 hours I am currently getting. 

    And my effort of applying to every job I can find on Indeed and Zip recruiter has yielded no success. I do not know what it is that I am doing wrong. But the thought has occurred to me that I do have a lot of skills and a quite impressive work history with the small opportunities I have been given. Maybe the problem is not me, but it is the fault of people who judge by the appearance of someone like me who they do not know. 

    You cannot know a person just by how they look nor just reading their online job application. Those few people who truly do know me appreciate me. I will find my solution if I keep fighting. 

    I have also decided that if Hy-Vee does not hire me full time before my 36th birthday, I will quit as soon as I get hired full time elsewhere. I will tell new employers that I can start immediately rather than setting a date in the future just so that I can give Hy-Vee two weeks’ notice. I am too old for this constant waiting around to get the career I deserve, and my patience has run out. 

  • I am Transgender but

    I am Transgender but

    I think trans people should have their own sports leagues separate from men or women.

    I do not believe in 72 genders. I believe there are two genders and that I am both of them. I am a checkerboard of the soul containing pieces and squares of male and female. But it was female that won the chess game and led to my transition.

    I think drag queen story hour is creepy.

    I’m generally “conservative” on a lot of issues politically (including pro-life) with the exception that LGBT people should absolutely be able to marry who they want and gender transition.

    I don’t want people jailed for using the wrong pronouns.

    Being transgender is a lot less important than my Tetris scores.

    I am not trying to be “sexy” just because I like to look good and take better care of myself than I used to.

    I will not do SRS surgery because I do not need an artificial vagina and would not use it. Additionally, many other transgender people do not want surgery due to cost and medical problems that can result. All surgery is risky, and people must do research and know what they are getting themselves into.

    Transgender is NOT a sexual orientation, nor should T have ever been lumped with the LGB. That said, I love gays and think they have better fashion sense and make great floral designers.

    I still use the men’s restroom unless gender neutral restrooms are available and/or I’ve been given direct permission to use the women’s restroom, and everyone is completely okay with it. I stick with the men’s mostly for my own safety because there are people who believe that anyone who looks male is going into women’s restrooms to rape them. They don’t know that I’m no threat to them and they don’t know that I’m physically incapable of any sexual activity because I have no testicles and my penis is always the size of a baby carrot. There have arisen some situations in the men’s restroom, however, because I no longer look like I belong in there either. However, if someone complains of a woman in the men’s restroom, I only need to use my baby carrot dick to clarify the situation.