I totally spent 5 hours writing a program in Assembly Language. I realized that what I am doing is something that cannot be done for money in any way. The best that I can do is to learn the technical skills and then continue working on my books and API references I plan to write.
But as far as my programs themselves, they don’t fit the model of how the world works. In a job, you are constantly pressured to do as much work in as short of a time as possible. Therefore, you are paid, hired, or fired based on how fast the program can be written for the client, regardless of whether it works correctly or has bugs or security flaws.
But when I write computer software for myself, I am the only one to decide whether it meets my standards. I have said many times over the past 20 years that I would not want a job as a programmer. This is because I am only interested in the things I want to do. I find that I am at peace when the things I do are not attached to the love of money.
I believe that money and the corporate world actually ruins top quality work. There are also things that the Open-Source Software movement has made possible that could never be done under a company with a proprietary system. Strangers who don’t even know each other offer improvements on programming forums to people out of the goodness of their heart with no financial incentive.
I see something similar in the world of Chess. People who are playing for fun can enjoy the game at a higher level than those who are stressed out competing in tournaments to win money. I sometimes feel myself pulled in a direction I didn’t know existed. I will work to explore this feeling I get where I achieve inner peace for a moment when I am having pure fun and losing track of the time.
I used to feel this way when playing video games as a kid. Now I get it from writing books, blog posts, and computer programs. I still enjoy games though. I plan to eventually getting back into my games but I have had a busy life lately.
Chastity White Rose 