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This post will be sort of different because I decided to only share it on my blog and not post to social media except perhaps the link. I do not want people commenting unless they have actually read or listened to what I said before making assumptions. This is an extremely difficult thing to talk about because there are many wrong ideas about Asexuality spreading on the internet. Because of this the term has become almost meaningless. I shall explain this in detail.

The wikipedia page states that “Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.”

I am Asexual but…

I do not currently wish to identify as Asexual because there are tons of people calling themselves asexual, meaning that they lack sexual attraction and/or are not interested in sex, yet at the same time they will mention that they regularly have sex to please their partners or even become prostitutes for the money. This means of course that they are participating in something that they don’t actually want to do but do to please others or just to survive. Since they are living a dishonest lifestyle by doing that which they say they don’t want to do, they may has well just admit they are allowing themselves to be raped. As such, Asexuality has become a term associated with justifying rape. Doing something because you are afraid your partner will leave you is not consensual. Doing something for money is not either because money does not create consent. I personally have never had sex nor do I want to, but I am pretty sure that no one should force you to do anything you don’t want to do, even playing Tetris! I feel bad for people who do this but I also think they have ruined the meaning of Asexuality. As such, I identify as a celibate, which is a word that at least retains its meaning as someone who does not have sex, usually for personal or religious reasons, regardless of their actual sexual orientation.

A second reason I do not identify as asexual is because I am actually still unsure of my sexual orientation. I may very much still fit the part of the definition of asexuality as “low or absent interest in or desire”. In fact I would say my desires or fleeting thoughts are very very very low, but not absent. I feel things I can’t explain, I do things I can’t explain, and I even have dreams that I can’t explain. I also know that feelings or desires can change and that a person like me can still be committed to my lifelong Vow of Chastity regardless of what I might feel like at the time.

A third reason that asexual might not be a good term for me and others is that there is no longer a universal agreement about what is considered sexual activity. When I was a teenager and first learned about sex from Christian books and/or whatever the perverted pastor was preaching, I understood it to be penis in vagina sex. I thought that was THE definition and at the time was also being taught that it was God’s will for people to do this only in the context of marriage. But these days, people are doing anal, oral, or other forms of things that they are calling sex. Some would even consider kissing to be a sexual act, although I personally don’t think it is sexual, only very gross.

A fourth reason to drop the term asexual is because it makes very little sense for a transgender person to identify as other labels because being transgender by itself is hard for society to understand. Although I would say that a gender transition is likely to turn you celibate because removing genitals can definitely alter hormone levels and obviously makes certain forms of sex impossible. But the actual feelings or lack thereof, whether they are considered straight, gay, bisexual, or asexual, are not in the genitals themselves but rather in the brain or perhaps even the soul.

A final note is that nothing I said here should be taken as an attack on anyone who uses the term asexual to describe themselves. However, I find myself distancing myself more and more from the label Asexual just as I dropped the label of Christian years ago because the word itself has become associated with things I do not support. I believe in only using words that honestly communicate what I really mean to say.

It has been less than a year since I released my first game, Chaste Tris, on github, itch.io, and Steam. Although it has not received any attention, I am quite proud of the achievement of making my own Tetris clone.

But just recently I did it again. I made my own clone of Puyo Puyo by modifying the source code of Chaste Tris and changing several things that made it behave like a Puyo game. The game can be downloaded from both of the following sources.

https://chastitywhiterose.itch.io/chaste-puyo

https://github.com/chastitywhiterose/Chaste-Puyo/tree/main/release/windows

Here is a demo of me doing a 10 chain and an all clear.

Usually it is hard to do such things but because of the deterministic nature of my Puyo game, the same puyos come in the same order every time. It also helps that there are only 3 colors. More colors are possible though if I were to edit the code to allow them.

It’s official. I have now created my own Puyo game.

I would not have thought it possible but by adding delays between my puyo falling and puyo matching functions, I was able to fix the bugs and now puyo correctly match and disappear if there are 4 or more connected. The key was the recursive flood fill function that I wrote myself.

The game is made from modifying my Chaste Tris source code and changing the blocks and the way they behave. The collision detection works exactly the same which shows me how similar Tetris and Puyo are in their puzzle game mechanics.

But they are completely different because the goal is to match colored puyos of 4 or more rather than clearing lines.

The source code is available on github and anyone can compile and run it on any platform if they have the tools and know how to compile C programs using Raylib.

https://github.com/chastitywhiterose/Chaste-Puyo

I haven’t yet compiled a Windows version yet because I feel like I would do that only when the game is tested better and includes some form of scoring system and documentation.

But basically everything is controlled with Z,X, and the arrow keys.

Those of you who have followed my blog know that I’m a serious Tetris player and even created my own game known as Chaste Tris.

However, there is a person who created such a Tetris game unlike any other. The name of the game is Apotris. It is a Gameboy Advance ROM which was made entirely by someone not affiliated with video game companies who simply learned how GBA games are made. This means that the usual legal issues about using ROMs are avoided because the creator akouzoukos has made it available to everyone and often updates the game.

And perhaps what makes it most interesting is the fact that it is a ROM that can be played using an emulator. This means that not only can any PC capable of running a GBA emulator play it, but it also allows for Tool Assisted Speedruns. Only special emulators are capable of the movie recording features required to do this.I personally use Bizhawk because it was recommended by TASvideos

If you don’t know what a Tool Assisted Speedrun is, basically it means the emulator has features to save and load the game at any time and also the ability to record a movie as the input at each frame. Most emulators also support frame advance which means that you can step through each animation frame of the game and input buttons at that specific frame.

As you might imagine, this is especially helpful in Tetris because it allows looking at the blocks to plan out specifically where they need to go even under high gravity because the game is paused.

Of course it is worth mentioning that my game can do the exact same thing and was designed for the same purpose.

You could even think of my game as sort of a limited version of Apotris that does the job of playing perfect Tetris games. But akouzoukos is by far a better programmer whereas I’m more of a Tetris player than programmer. I love his game so much and I wanted to spread the word of it because I’m sure others crave the ability to play Tetris with less stress and perfect scores in a way that mainstream officially licensed Tetris games never allow because almost nobody can play at the high levels where blocks drop and lock before you can press a key or button!