Chastity White Rose

Blog

  • Dualism and Monism

    Mind-Body Dualism as it relates to LGBTQIA people.

    For some time, I have been thinking about what is being said when someone claims that trans women are women or that trans men are men. The truth of these statements is a metaphysical claim. The statements are clearly meant to refer to the mind/spirit/soul of the person rather than the body.

    When someone objects to transgender people and tells them that they are really whatever their biological sex is based on chromosomes, genitals, reproductive capacity, or whatever arbitrary marker they use, they are in fact usually correct under a monist philosophy. If what you are is the same as your body, then concepts such as gender identity don’t make any sense.

    But we live in a world where most people claim to be dualists. Most of the world population identify with some form of religion such as Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, or something like that which includes belief in an afterlife and the concept of mind/spirit/soul. It refers to that part of someone which will still exist elsewhere and live on even if the body is destroyed. Because this soul/mind/life-force is not the body, this is a dualistic worldview.

    Those who follow a monist or materialist worldview believe that physical reality is all that exists. These are usually atheists too because to be a monist means that you cannot believe in anything other than the physical. I used to be that person but not anymore. I have seen and experienced too much that does not align with the idea that the mind and body are one. Most notably the huge disagreement between what my body feels like doing and what my mind forces it to do.

    Whether you are dualist or monist clearly makes a difference between whether you accept transgender people as their claimed identity. If you are Christian, it also has implications for whether you accept Jesus as merely a man or as God taking on a temporary physical form. However, most people are not autistic philosophers as I am, and they do not understand or recognize these connections.

    And another thing that must be clear is that in LGBTQIA, one of these letters is not the same as the others. The T is for Transgender, which is about identity. All the other letters are about the body. For example, a Gay or Lesbian is defined precisely by people who are sexually attracted to those who share the same body type as them. A heterosexual is also defined by being attracted to the opposite sex. In both cases the labels are 100% based on the body they happen to be born into.

    And then things get more complicated when you realize that Transgender people, just like Cisgender people also have a sexual orientation. A transgender woman who is attracted to men is heterosexual under the dualist philosophy, but homosexual based on a monist philosophy. That is because sexual orientations are based on what the physical body is but ignores the soul. It could be that people are attracted to people of a certain type of mind a person has independently of what body they inhabit in this life cycle.

    And now we have 3 interacting elements.

    1. The physical body
    2. The Mind that lives in that body
    3. The philosophy/religion/spirituality that interprets the mind and/or body.

    The movie Freaky Friday is a fine example of what I am talking about. The mother and daughter switch bodies which means they still retain their same soul. They still behave the same way and think the same way but now are in each other’s bodies. The entire movie would not work without dualism.

    I could easily go on forever about this and will quite possibly write more in the future. Because these issues relate heavily to LGBTQIA people, especially the T, I wanted to get these thoughts out during Pride month. In the future I hope to go more in depth about how it could affect other controversial religious or political debates.

    Mind-Body Relationship In Psychology: Dualism vs Monism
    Body, Soul, and Gender Identity: Thinking Theologically About Human Constitution

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freaky_Friday_(2003_film)

  • The Tetris Company

    On two separate occasions I had contacted The Tetris Company. I still had old emails of them replying to me. To make sure these are not lost, I am posting the screenshots.

    Also, one of the screenshots contains my old phone number that I no longer have. I’m not worried about that though because I have a new phone number and they clearly can email me to contact me if they need to.

  • Honesty Speaks

    I happened to find this picture my good friend Poffo Ortiz sent me awhile back.

    When I see this, it reminds me of my time with Honesty the unicorn. I still speak to Honesty. It told me not to be afraid to apply for the job my friend encouraged me to that I’ve been afraid of due to my past experiences with a warehouse job. And also, to use this time to try new things I have always wanted to do like starting a comedy career and game streaming. Honesty told me that had I been unable to obtain full time work already, I would have put all my trust in work which is a big mistake. Rather I should not trust anyone company or person too much because they will let me down, but minor setbacks will not keep me from fulfilling my purpose. And also, to remember my Stallion Pride!

    What it all means I still don’t understand but I guess you could say I had my own time with God on Sunday morning while I ran the Floral Department by myself.

  • The Quest for Full Time Work

    In less than a month I will turn 36. I find it quite depressing that at this age I am still considered a loser because I am poor. In my entire life I have only had one full-time job. That was with Brillient, the government contract company. Unfortunately, that fell apart with the knee injury. 

    But ever since the age of 16, I have always been trying to get a full-time job with an income great enough to be able to live independently. And for a while I thought I had succeeded. I had full time with Brillient and I had my own apartment in Independence. 

    My work history is simple because as of this time, there are only 3 companies I have worked for in my entire lifetime. 

    Hy-Vee was the first company to hire me at the age of 25. Walmart, Burger King, Burger Boy, Taco Bell, McDonalds, Hen House, and Hobby Lobby would not hire me or even give me an interview. Even Hy-Vee did not give me any chance until I went there and begged for a job. This was the Lee’s Summit East Hy-Vee 

    Oddly enough, I was not able to get a job in my first 9 years of trying, but I was able to join the Navy at the age of 20. I did not survive long in boot camp and became extremely sick with pneumonia. But one thing that I will always remember is how cruel the men in my church at the time were. They told me I was not tough enough to handle it and mocked me. They were right of course but that does not change the fact that they should have been proud of me for trying and encouraging me. My mom was proud of me and in fact that is the reason why her email is navyboymom@gmail.com because it was chosen at the time I was in the Navy. 

    But anyhow, back to the work history. I worked for Hy-Vee part time as a courtesy clerk from October 21, 2012, to sometime in May 2018 when I transferred to the Health Market. I was happy with my work and good at it but never was able to obtain full time. I asked and begged but nothing ever changed. 

    And then what happened is that a Job Recruiter found me on LinkedIn and told me about the availability of a full-time job for Brillient. It was not an easy job to get but it was full time and required tons of paperwork and obtaining government clearance because I would be working in a government facility. But I got the job and although I did not enjoy it very much, I was making $12.95 per hour at 40 hours per week, and sometimes 45 or 50 hours because of mandatory overtime. But the job fell apart for two reasons. The Covid related mask mandate and the knee injury which led to a long recovery and being fired for not being able to work fast enough at shelving files at a time when my legs could not even walk, and I could not get up off the floor without significant effort using my arms and one semi good leg. I would never work for that company again under any circumstances because of how they treated me. 

    So, what I did is apply to the Hy-Vee in Independence closest to where I lived in Independence at the time. Because I had previously worked for Hy-Vee, it was not difficult to get a job there because they still had me on file. I started in April 2021. It was a different store and things were located differently but all my skills still applied. In June 2021, after a few months of being a courtesy clerk, I transferred to the Floral Department because I was interested, and they needed help! I found it more difficult than being a courtesy clerk or health market clerk, but I loved the aspect of being creative when people bought flowers and wanted me to wrap them or put them in a vase. 

    I had many opportunities to be creative and learned to be responsible for many important things. I was quite often the closing shift clerk and would be by myself for an average of 4 hours. Answering the phone, writing the orders, cleaning up the shop, and locking away all important documents containing customer’s information. I also learned how to deposit the money in the till into the safe at the end of the night. 

    I was good at my job and loved it, but I was still limited to less than 30 hours and never allowed to go full time. I tried to get a second part time job at Gamestop, and to my surprise, I succeeded. But I did not get many hours there either. My rent was close to $900, not counting utilities, food was expensive, and I made about $1200 a month. As you can imagine, I ended up in debt and did not qualify to renew my lease. 

    So, I moved back to Lee’s Summit with my mom and transferred to the original Hy-Vee and the GameStop in Lee’s Summit. I have also been applying to other jobs with no success. 

    After a while, the constant rejection really started getting to me. My thought process is like this: 

    “Is it because I am transgender? Maybe but I got rejected long before I came out as transgender. Maybe it’s because I am autistic, and people assume I am retarded? Maybe my voice sounds gay and people in this area are homophobic? I am tired of being a loser and rejected by companies and people in general!” 

    I should not be having these thoughts, but constant rejection is damaging my mental health. I know I deserve a better life than this. I am highly intelligent and responsible. I have decided to be much more vocal about what I need in life and to fight even harder until I get full time employment. 

    I recently even started online school with Full Sail University. The idea is to get a college degree to help me find a well-paying job I have the skills for. But I still need a full-time job long before that day comes because I cannot survive on the less than 20 hours I am currently getting. 

    And my effort of applying to every job I can find on Indeed and Zip recruiter has yielded no success. I do not know what it is that I am doing wrong. But the thought has occurred to me that I do have a lot of skills and a quite impressive work history with the small opportunities I have been given. Maybe the problem is not me, but it is the fault of people who judge by the appearance of someone like me who they do not know. 

    You cannot know a person just by how they look nor just reading their online job application. Those few people who truly do know me appreciate me. I will find my solution if I keep fighting. 

    I have also decided that if Hy-Vee does not hire me full time before my 36th birthday, I will quit as soon as I get hired full time elsewhere. I will tell new employers that I can start immediately rather than setting a date in the future just so that I can give Hy-Vee two weeks’ notice. I am too old for this constant waiting around to get the career I deserve, and my patience has run out. 

  • Tetris: 9 Line Perfect

    I have been running solution finder to try to solve a certain field.txt file. It looks like this:

    9
    XXXX___XXX
    XXXX___XXX
    XXXX___XXX
    XXXX___XXX
    XXXX___XXX
    XXXX___XXX
    XXXX___XXX
    XXXX___XXX
    XXX____XXX

    The program seems to crash after running for some time. However I know for a fact that there are multiple solutions to solve this map with a perfect clear. I have created this map on jstris as well.
    https://jstris.jezevec10.com/map/58880

    I have a video to prove one solution that works well.

    The reason that this is important is because it is an efficient way to lower the stack while doing a mechanical TSD method. It works because this same shape is created automatically. If the stack is a minimum of 9 lines high, it becomes possible to clear it with an entire bag of pieces. Of course this may not always result in a perfect clear of the screen but it will lower the stack by 8 or 9 lines depending on how the stack got started. This makes it an effective method of achieving even higher scores because it means that more T spin doubles can be done after this. It becomes increasingly important to memorize these patterns so that they can be done in ultra mode.

    Until I get solution finder to work for me. I will discover these methods manually and create images of how the solutions work. Here is the first.