Chastity White Rose

Blog

  • Chapter 13: My Immigrant Best Friend

    The subject of immigration is one that I never researched prior to 2025. All my life, I have personally believed in open borders and that we should not have the concept of countries at all. Of course, I know the legal system doesn’t follow my ideals.

    However, as someone born in Merriam, Kansas, in the United States of America, I am a citizen by law even though I did nothing to deserve it. Therefore, I have no moral right to work or live than someone born in another country who comes here.

    But one day, I started a very special friendship with an immigrant at Walmart who came to work there. I started trying to use Google Translate on my phone to translate messages. Most of the time, this wasn’t even necessary because she understands more English than I do Spanish.

    To protect her privacy, I will refer to her as Fiesta because fiesta is the Spanish word for party. Working with Fiesta was always a party because when we worked together, we sang and danced. She even knew most of the English songs I know. Although I had only known her for a short time, I can tell you she was one of the best workers I had ever seen. Nobody else besides me at my store ever worked with such a smile on their face.

    And then one day she told me that her work visa had expired and she could no longer work at Walmart with me. I was deeply sad about this because I will miss her. I hope that she can become a citizen here or that, at least if she returns to her country that she will be safe.

    But based on my reading about this issue, it seems that it is not very easy to become a citizen or even to get a temporary visa status. These rights are limited in number and given only to a small number of people who government officials deem worthy.

    But the news in 2025 about immigrants in American politics has often made me question why people would go to such trouble to enter this country. All I can really say is that if someone’s country they were born is so bad that they want to come here, then I think they should be allowed to.

    But I also think that if immigrants really knew what this country is like, they probably would not want to. They are not treated very kindly by other American citizens. On top of that, many of them may be in great danger in their original country.

    Maybe they did not do anything wrong, but their homes were destroyed in a war. Maybe people are trying to kill them because they are gay or transgender. Maybe they no longer follow the major religion in their country and, therefore, are considered a criminal worthy of death. Therefore, because such situations happen, it is not hard to see why someone may go to another country, legally or illegally, when they have to save their lives. I do not judge them because I have no right to. I don’t know their situation, and I imagine it must be hard.

    Next time you see an immigrant to your country, I would like you to remember this Bible verse. You don’t have to be a Christian or Jew to appreciate this, just know that anyone who claims to follow these religions must also consider whether they are following this law of treating the foreigner the same as a native citizen.

    Leviticus 19:33 When a resident foreigner lives with you in your land, you must not oppress him. 34 The resident foreigner who lives with you must be to you as a native citizen among you; so you must love the foreigner as yourself, because you were foreigners in the land of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.

    The average American citizen knows nothing about the immigration system in the USA. Even I don’t know much, because I have never moved to another country. I guess that most of you probably haven’t either. You just judge people and declare them “illegal”.

    Many other people were also born in the USA. Some of them, I wish I could deport to another country so that they would no longer be here to abuse people they consider less valuable than themselves, based on the chunk of dirt they were born on.

    And to my friend Fiesta, I want you to know that you were always the kindest friend to me at Walmart. You did not treat me as less than you because I did not know your language, or because I am transgender. We danced and sang together, and every night was a party just because you were there. I will remember you, no matter what happens. If there is anyone who has a right to work in any country, it is you.

    Immigration Links

    https://www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/fact-sheet/why-dont-they-just-get-line/

    https://americasvoice.org/blog/immigration-101-why-immigrants-cant-just-get-legal/

    https://www.flowofhistory.org/the-problem-of-citizenship-in-american-history-2/

  • Chapter 12: Why I Don’t Use the Women’s Restroom

    There is a lot I could say about the never-ending bathroom debate, although it will be ignored. The issue would be resolved if unisex restrooms became the norm, as in one person, one toilet, and one sink. This design was how the restrooms were at the Hy-Vee where I used to work. In fact, originally, they had gendered signs. There were 6 restrooms, and 3 were labeled female and 3 were labeled male. Eventually, they got rid of those signed and replaced them all with unisex signs. There was no point in gendering them because only one person went in at a time, and no one’s privacy was ever violated.

    If businesses took the same method as the Hy-Vee on Rice Road in Lee’s Summit did, there would be no bathroom debate over whether transgender people should be allowed to use the restroom that matches their sense of gender identity.

    This problem is kept alive because society wants an excuse to be hateful to transgender people. I am fully aware of this, and I know that my solution will never be implemented on a wide scale. For this reason, I would like to go a step further and explain why I never use a women’s restroom.

    I don’t use the women’s restroom because I need to protect myself from the women. The worst men could do to me is rape me or murder me when I use the restroom. However, what a woman can do to me is far worse. If I were ever foolish enough to use a public women’s restroom, it would only take one woman in there accusing me of trying to assault her sexually. Of course, it would not be true, but it doesn’t have to be. Either way, someone will call the police, I will probably be arrested and sent to a men’s prison where I will be raped or otherwise beaten by violent men much more dangerous than those in a men’s public restroom.

    I also would experience no benefit to using the women’s restroom. I don’t wish to be around women I don’t know because I can’t trust them not to hurt me. I also don’t want to hear whatever conversations they are having. They are probably complaining about men, and they will see me as an enemy and accuse me of being a man. I don’t wish to deal with that.

    I have used the men’s restroom all my life and I have never even once seen the penis of any of the men there. That is because I am not looking for people’s genitals! Another thing I like about men is that they go in there, pee, poop, fart, or whatever. No conversations, no doing their makeup, and just getting back to working or shopping.

    Although my solution of continuing to use the men’s restroom is quite convenient for me, I completely oppose any law or policy that dictates what restroom people are forced to use. Such laws are impossible to enforce in any meaningful way. Do police have to stand at the entrance of ALL public restrooms and pull the pants down of anyone who just needs to pee? How does this work with people who have had their genitals removed through surgery? What about women who have short hair and therefore look just like men?

    I highly doubt that most people have logically thought about the consequences of trying to legally require people to use the restroom of their “biological sex”. It does not take into account intersex people or transgender men who look like someone who belongs in the men’s restroom because they have been on testosterone long enough to have a beard and a deep voice.

    I am sad that this bathroom controversy exists at all. Still, because it does, I would suggest that both transgender women and transgender men use the men’s restroom unless a unisex restroom is available. I have never once been attacked in a men’s restroom, but I happen to know a cisgender female former manager at Walmart who was attacked in the women’s restroom for the crime of having short hair. Honestly, at this point people are safer in the men’s restroom because even though some men in there may be dangerous, they will probably not be able to tell who they can safely rape or who might be strong enough to kick their butt. They will be less likely to take the risk, especially if they are in a room full of people who look like hybrids, just as I am.

    But regardless of anything I have said here, do whatever is safer in your specific situation and keep fighting for restroom equality! To police who can use which restroom hurts people who are not transgender because many women look like men if they have short hair, are taller, or are muscular because they work out. If you care about women’s safety, you will care about everyone’s privacy as they pee or poop. Using the restroom is not optional, and so everyone should be able to do their business free from harassment.

  • Chapter 11: What the Gay Marriage Debate is REALLY about

    When I was in my early twenties, I heard the occasional mention of gay marriage. At the time, I did not understand why it was a big deal, nor did I have a clue why gay people wanted so badly to be married. I figured that marriages were doomed from the start and that if gay people wanted to be as miserable as straight people, then let them have same sex marriage!

    But that was over 15 years ago, and since then, I have learned so much more in terms of what the debate over marriage equality is about. I can tell you with certainty that it is about money as well as other important rights and privileges that governments only give to married people.

    There are more than 1100 benefits that married couples receive that single people don’t have access to. The following links cover them in more detail than I could ever explain on my own.

    http://www.whymarriagematters.org/pages/protections-and-responsibilities-of-marriage

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201804/unearned-privilege-1000-laws-benefit-only-married-people

    https://www.getlegal.com/legal-info-center/family-law-divorce/marriage/

    I must admit, I was very surprised to hear that there were so many laws that affect married people and that they pay less taxes than single people. I even remember hearing someone in a podcast mention that he only got married for the tax benefits.

    Silly me, I thought that marriage was just a contract of commitment and a ceremony to tell your other friends and family that: “Hey, this person is special to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with them. Anyone who hurts them will get a good old country ass wuppin.”

    I know that my opinion as a Confused Virgin doesn’t count for much on the topic of marriage. However, that raises other questions:

    • Why are married people respected more than single people
    • Why would the government and health insurance companies be so financially invested in making people get married just so that they get financial benefits?
    • Why have these same rights and privileges been denied to people of the same sex who basically live like straight married couples do?
    • And most importantly, shouldn’t marriage be between two people instead of the government and random strangers who get offended about other people’s marriages?

    It seems there is a lot more to this topic, and my thoughts have evolved a lot over the past 20 years. I naturally support gay marriage because I want my Rainbow people to experience these benefits the same way straight people do.

    But at the same time, a part of me says that maybe the idea of legal marriage should be abolished entirely. I think that having the entire legal and economic system forcing people to get married for financial reasons or just to give someone health insurance can lead to dishonesty. People may get married to the wrong person and then have a nasty divorce later, all because they got married for tax benefits.

    But the law is not the only problem. People also respect married people more than single people. If you happen to be a 38-year-old single virgin, people look at you and wonder what the hell is wrong with you that nobody wants to partner with you.

    Moreover, it draws suspicion. After a while, people who should be minding their own business start coming up with their own theories as to why certain people are single and never married.

    But I believe in living a life of honesty, and therefore, I am glad that I did not end up in the wrong marriage. If someone gets married to a person of the opposite sex just to gain legal benefits or to avoid judgment by society for being single, then they may face trouble.

    • A gay man may be having sex with his wife while he is really thinking about his secret gay partner that he would rather be with, if only it were legal.
    • An asexual person may not enjoy sex, but they are afraid to tell their spouse for fear that they will leave them, and they could potentially become homeless without their partner’s income and support.
    • A transgender person may wish to come out and be their true selves. Still, they know that their spouse would certainly divorce them if they did not approve of their transition, or they just could not take the criticism from society for being married to someone who is so hated by most of the population.

    I can tell you, being single gets lonely sometimes, but there are benefits to being single that people who got married at a young age will also never experience. I wish happiness to all the people: gay or straight, single or married.

    Everyone must do what is right for them. At no point should the government or anyone else be rewarding or punishing people for who their partner happens to be, or if they cannot find anyone at all who wants to be with them.

  • Chapter 10: Consistently Pro-Life

    In this chapter, I know I am going to lose some readers because if there is anything that is more misunderstood than the religious or political debates over LGBTQIA+ rights and identity, it is the abortion debate.

    I know you are not expecting a Transgender person with rainbows all over their social media and book covers to be Pro-Life because the “Pro-Life” movement has traditionally done things that are very “Pro-Death” involving the LGBTQIA+ community.

    Most of the Pro-Life organizations and charities are strictly Anti-Gay and Anti-Transgender. Most of these groups are religiously based, and this causes them to only work with people who meet their standards based on their faith. Since many passages in the bible are interpreted to forbid homosexuality and even imply that homosexuals go to hell, the Christians who believe these things seem to prioritize their fight against LGBTQIA+ people even more than they do their fight against abortion.

    But let me be very clear here: there is nothing Pro-Life about denying gay people the right to marriage. There is nothing Pro-Life about denying the ability of gay couples to adopt children that straight people did not want or could not afford to take care of, and there is nothing Pro-Life about taking away life-saving hormones and surgeries from Transgender and Intersex people who rely on them for their physical AND mental health.

    Nobody has the right to call themselves Pro-Life unless what they are doing actually keeps people alive. You don’t get to murder a transgender person on the street and then go to church and talk about being a follower of Jesus. If you do, you are a hypocrite, and even Jesus would tell you so, just as he did the Pharisees and Sadducees.

    For me, being Pro-Life DOES NOT EQUAL BEING ANTI-ABORTION. Rather, being Anti-Abortion is probably 5 percent of the equation. I follow a consistent life ethic, and this includes Veganism to save the animals and supporting human minorities who face additional challenges because of their race, religion, gender, skin color, disability, or whatever other excuse people use to murder them and take away their jobs, housing, and healthcare.

    Therefore, by writing these chapters about the Rainbow people, I am doing my best to be Pro-Life for the LGBTQIA+ community. I hope that even though you may not agree with my opinion that abortion is immoral because it is murder, you can at least see the parallels to the other topics.

    There are two important Pro-Life organizations I want to share with you. The first is the Rainbow Pro-Life Alliance. I have been a board member since 2022 and attend the Zoom meetings. What I can tell you based on my experience is that all of these people come from different places and don’t share the same opinions on every topic. We do agree that abortion is wrong and that LGBTQIA+ people certainly have a place in the discussion, even though we have been excluded by mainstream Pro-Life organizations and events. After all, most of us are either extremely gay or are straight allies.

    https://www.rainbowprolife.org/

    The second is Vegans for Preborn Rights. Because I am an ethical Vegan who does not eat or wear anything from an animal, I want to be involved with them, too. I don’t know them as well, but their website is full of helpful resources explaining the Pro-Life and Vegan connection. Also, they fully support LGBTQIA+ people.

    https://www.vegansforprebornrights.org/

    Oddly enough, the reason I became a Vegan was because I was Pro-Life for humans, and then I just extended it to other species of animals. I have answered many questions about Veganism over the years. I would say I have faced more criticism from co-workers at the jobs I have worked because I am Vegan than I have for being transgender! However, if I had to choose between being called by my correct pronouns and saving the lives of the animals, I would choose the animals every time.

    If you want more information on Veganism, I recommend the book “Why We Should Go Vegan” by Magnus Vinding. It is available free on Smashwords and is an excellent summary of the reasons it benefits the animals as well as humans if we adopt a vegan diet. I also recommend Magnus Vinding’s other books because most of them are about philosophy and ethics. He is an amazing author, and he introduced me to Smashwords even before Draft2Digital purchased it. Draft2Digital is the company I use to publish my e-books to this day.

  • Chapter 9: Autism and the Misunderstood Rainbow

    No discussion about the Rainbow would be complete without a mention of Autistic people. The Rainbow is a symbol of Autism because it is a spectrum of different colors, just as there are different people with different levels of ability in various skills.

    https://101autism.com/understanding-autism-the-significance-of-colors-and-symbols/

    The jigsaw puzzle piece is also a relevant symbol because of the unique ability of visually autistic thinkers to place pieces of the world together in unusual ways. Some of us are also really good at completing jigsaw puzzles (and playing Tetris, which is the same idea).

    But you might wonder what exactly Autism is. I can provide my explanation and point you to some resources. Autism is one of the hardest things to explain. In fact, it may be harder to describe Autism to a neurotypical (non-autistic person) than it is to explain LGBTQIA+ to cisgender straight people.

    But because I am even more autistic than I am Transgender, I do believe I can help explain it a bit. Obviously, this is only my experience because each autistic person is different.

    It might surprise you that I think in pictures and struggle with words. Words have never come easy to me. I could always talk since I was a small child, but I did not know what the words meant most of the time. I memorized quotes from cartoons and video games and repeated them endlessly.

    My strength has always been in math and visual arts. Give me shapes and colors, and I can tell you their number of sides and hexadecimal RGB color codes. Perhaps this is why computer programming languages were always easier than speaking English to humans, although I have obviously improved over the years.

    But have you ever tried to explain the difference between a man and a woman to an autistic person? The perception that people with Autism have of the world is very different than it is for most of my readers.

    An autistic person is more likely to think in terms of specific examples of something and then generalize over time. A non-autistic is more likely to have a general idea of something abstract enough to apply to specific cases.

    For example, when I was a 6-year-old child, I observed that boys were evil because they liked to bully me and physically beat me up at Lindbergh Elementary School. I further observed that girls played Tetherball on the playground and that they provided me safety from the boys because girls had cooties and boys were afraid of cooties (though to this day, I never figured out what that means exactly).

    My ideas of gender were very different from what other people spoke about it. To me, the role of a boy, girl, man, or woman was about behavior but not about body parts. To put it bluntly, I did not think of people by their penis or vagina because they wore pants. As long as people were wearing clothes, I only had their behavior to judge what kind of person they were.

    There is also evidence that people with Autism are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than the general population.

    https://autism.org/lgbtq-and-autism/

    I firmly believe that many other people with Autism are very much like me in that they have to process and figure the world out slowly. It isn’t that being autistic makes you gay or transgender, but you may observe that gender is also a spectrum, much like Autism or the Rainbow is.

    For example, in the minds of some people, women have long hair, but what about when a woman cuts her hair short? Furthermore, long and short are not absolute but are relative terms.

    What about the generality that men are stronger than women? Just because this is true, most of the time, does not mean that there are not women with naturally high testosterone who build muscle faster than other women and even a lot of men. Athletes who exercise get stronger regardless of the silly ideas in our heads over who is supposed to be stronger.

    For every rule that can be made to define what a man or a woman is, there is also an exception. Some people like me argue that the rules are flexible because humans made them up and that they can be broken.

    But let me finish by telling you a story about the misunderstood Rainbow.

    There was a display put up about Autism by two librarians in a library in Sterling, Kansas. The Infinity Rainbow was displayed. Somebody thought it was about an LGBTQIA+ topic and complained. These two librarians were fired and then sued the Sterling Free Public Library.

    https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/09/2-librarians-were-fired-after-the-board-mistook-an-autism-symbol-for-a-pride-display-theyre-suing/

    https://truthout.org/articles/kansas-librarians-sue-after-being-fired-for-displaying-rainbow-autism-symbol/

    I suppose that it can be easy to mistake an Autism rainbow as being a Pride Month symbol, especially since it was displayed in the month of June. However, I would say that people with Autism are included in the spectrum of diversity that must be understood and celebrated for their unique gifts.

    No, being autistic doesn’t really imply a certain sexual orientation or gender identity. Still, autistic people like me have no filter, and we will say exactly what we think and feel. I believe that the rate of LGBTQIA+ individuals among the autistic community could be the same as the rest of the population, but that WE ARE MORE LIKELY TO ADMIT OUR DIFFERENCE.

    If there is anything that Autism is known for, it is our lack of social awareness. Just as the Rainbow was misunderstood at the Sterling Free Public Library, autistic people are also misunderstood because we don’t know how to lie and pretend to be something we are not.

    I have not even barely scratched the surface of what Autism really means, but I can point you to an expert that you may have heard of. Her name is Temple Grandin. I invite you to read the first chapter of her book Thinking in Pictures because she explains it better than I can.

    https://www.grandin.com/inc/visual.thinking.html

    Because I think in pictures much like Temple Grandin does, I do think her books are a good description of my form of Autism.

    At the same time, I would also like to say that some people are so gifted with words and communication that they may be autistic but in the “reverse direction” of what is expected. Autism is diagnosed as a social disability, but there remains the possibility that the criteria for diagnosing Autism can also be wrong.

    I might have the same type of brain as Temple Grandin, but I think that others might actually be good at talking and understanding humans but be very bad at the visual and spatial talents that I have. I would like to conclude this chapter with my definition of Autism, which I think captures the essence of what I mean.

    Autism Definition

    A condition caused by a superpower (talent, skill, ability) that requires so much brain space that there is not much left for other abilities. Autistic individuals can do one or two things very well, but this comes at the cost of other abilities that society thinks are important.

    Or said another way, some of the playing cards in our brain deck are missing, but then others were shuffled in from another deck. We have 2 missing queens, 17 extra jacks, and no 5s or 7s.